The Benefits of Play for your Child
Building Strong Emotional Bonds Through Play
Playing with your children is a natural human instinct. Whether it is rough housing, playing pretend, or using toys, this type of activity is seemingly hardwired in the human brain. Although it may seem somewhat insignificant at surface-level, playing with your child has many benefits. In fact, play is incredibly significant to the growth and development of your child!
Play is how children understand the world
Garry Landreth, the founder of child-centered play therapy, states that “toys are children’s words, and play is their language”. He goes on to state that children frequently use playing as symbolic self-expression. Play can represent things that they desire, need, or are experiencing in their lives. Children do not operate in the cognitive or verbal world; they express through play. Play is an important part of services for children and adolescents in our office as research shows.
You have already seen the power of play
You may have observed this truth in your own children. The ease they use their imagination is automatic. You have witnessed them recreating adult relationships in their play with others. Children are powerful observers as well. When your child shares with you what they see others doing, this is emotional learning in action. We also know that physically active children are healthier. This is what helps them to develop balance and hand eye coordination. Think back. Your young athlete’s skill and responsiveness improves each season. These are examples of how play helps the child socially, emotionally, and physically as the grow.
Be a part of their growth through play
Playing with your children presents an opportunity to create a space that is safe for them. This gives them the potential to express what they are wanting, needing, or experiencing in a manner that is natural and comfortable for them. In this way you are meeting them where they are. So why not play more?
Playing with your has multiple potential benefits:
- Assisting the development of secure emotional attachment
- The way a child learns to attach to others is based on their life circumstances. This is especially true during their critical development periods. To develop a secure attachment a few things are required. First, emotional attunement. Secondly, a safe environment. Lastly, parents who positively interact with their children.
- Bolstering Emotion Regulation Skills
- While playing with a child, there are often situations in which the child can become very angry or frustrated. You can model healthy emotion regulation during play. This helps guide them through frustrating situations. In this way, the child can learn how to pro-social behaviors to other circumstances when you are not present.
- Building Self-Confidence
- During play, children may often find themselves in tough situations to overcomel. Parents can empower the child by supporting them as they conquer the challenges they face during play. This process can assist in the development of individuality and self-confidence.
- Reinforcement of Positive Behaviors
- During play, children may exhibit behaviors that are both positive and negative. Playing with your child can provide an opportunity for you to reinforce positive behaviors in real time. When positive behaviors occur, you can reinforce those behaviors with phrases like “I noticed you sharing your toy with me, great job!” These responses increase the presence of positive behaviors.
- Mutual Enjoyment
- Playing can be an activity that is mutually enjoyable for both parent and child. Memories can be made and the bond can be strengthened.
Play can be an excellent tool to accomplish these goals and more. Through the process of entering their world, you may find that it is an effective tool to add to your parenting toolbelt. Being a “kid” again may feel unnatural initially. Knowing how to interact and play with your child is a skill that can be learned! Our child therapists are able to set the example and help you learn how to get down to your child level.
Learn More
Scroll Less, Live More: Break Free From The “Doom Scrolling” Cycle
In today’s hyper-connected world, it’s increasingly difficult to avoid negative news. Whether it’s catastrophic events, political conflict, or global crises, our access to information is both vast and immediate. Whenever a significant event occurs, coverage on the event can be available within minutes. Not only are headlines and articlesavailable, but the photos and videos from multiple perspectives will be posted over social media. The overload of news coverage means that we’re glued to our screens, unable to break free. This exposure can have an unintended impact on our mental health, even when we know it’s not good for us. To be informed and aware is valuable, but are there potential negative effects of being so tuned in?
What Is Doom Scrolling?
Doom scrolling, a term coined by Gen Z individuals on TikTok, refers to the habitual, and in some cases compulsive, overconsumption of news headlines and negative events on social media and other websites. This scrolling has become an unfortunate part of modern life, contributing to rising levels of anxiety, stress, and even depression. Doom scrolling applies to anyone who habitually consumes an overwhelming amount of distressing news online.
Depending on the age group, the type of online exposure to these events varies. A Gen Z individual on TikTok may have seen video about a negative current event that has a humorous spin. Millennials may have seen people on Facebook linking an article alongside their commentary on the event. Older generations may have seen coverage of the event on mainstream media news stations. Despite the different methods of delivery, each generation is undoubtedly overexposed to current events.
Why Is It So Harmful?
With this phenomenon, potential negative effects can materialize. In psychology, there is a pattern of negative thinking called rumination. Rumination refers to repetitive thinking or dwelling on a negative thought that is difficult to escape. With the overexposure to negative events that occur, individuals may find themselves in one of these negative thought cycles that lead to anxiety and/or depression. Hearing tragic news stories or stressful situations occurring within the world can greatly impact an individual’s stress level and can lead to these ruminations. Additionally, elevated stress levels can exacerbate existing struggles with anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns.
In 2021, researchers from the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health conducted a study investigating the relationship between compulsive “doom scrolling” and negative mental health concerns. The researchers found that there was a significant increase in self-reported mental health concerns in individuals who reported the compulsive search for news. Additionally, researchers from the Journal of Psychological Trauma Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy found that many young individuals engaging in these behaviors exhibited significant symptoms of depression and even posttraumatic stress disorder simply from seeing online material surrounding these negative events even if they were not directly exposed.
How Can We Break Free from Doom Scrolling?
Our brains crave new information whether it is positive or negative. How do we break free from this cycle? Here are some potential actions that can be beneficial:
- Set time limits: Use apps or features on your phone to limit social media or news consumption. Both iPhone and Android devices have the capability of setting limits on specific apps. With Google Chrome, there are extensions on the Chrome Web Store to accomplish the same goal.
- Create digital boundaries: Designate times during the day to check news or social media and avoid mindless scrolling. Schedule half an hour every day to look at current events, and then do not allow yourself to engage in consuming news outside of that specific window.
- Engage in other activities: Replace scrolling with hobbies, exercise, or spending quality time with loved ones. Although social media seems to promote a sense of “connectedness”, it can also lead to perceived feelings of isolation. Go connect with others!
- Practice mindfulness: Focus on being present in the moment, and engage in mindfulness techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or journaling. Connect with nature and allow your brain to escape present concerns.
- Set Filters: Many social media apps such as Reddit, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and others allow you to filter out posts and media containing specific phrases. For example, if the presidential election was a source of stress for you, you could filter out any posts containing the word “president”.
- Seek Professional Help: If you find yourself incapable of escaping this cycle on your own, reach out to a licensed professional for assistance.
Learn More
Managing Grief During the Holidays
Managing grief during the holidays
The holiday season is generally regarded as a time of joy to be shared with family and friends. However, for those who are grieving lost loved ones, this is often not the case. The holidays can actually magnify our sense of loss. Seasonal events and traditions that are supposed to be festive and fun may serve as painful reminders of our loved ones’ absence. Whether this is your first or tenth holiday without a loved one, you may find yourself experiencing heightened feelings of grief that seem overwhelming. We want you to balance your grief with still finding joy in the holidays.
Ways can you manage grief and loss during the holiday season
Avoid engaging in grief comparison
Grief is a universal response to loss, but the actual experience of grief is unique to each individual. Everyone processes and copes with grief differently, so your grief may look different from another friend or family member’s grief in response to the same loss. Know that there is no right way to grieve.
Create new holiday traditions
Don’t be afraid to do something different because this year is different. Get creative and do something out of the ordinary or alter your previous traditions to better fit with this change in your life. For example, if you don’t feel like you have the energy to cook your usual meal at home, then go out to dinner!
Find ways to honor your loved one
Acknowledge the absence of your loved one and participate in a holiday ritual to remember them. Here are some ideas to consider:
-Light a candle for the dinner table or leave an empty chair
-Eat your loved one’s favorite food
-Share your favorite memories of your loved one
-Say a few words of remembrance for your loved one
Give yourself permission to grieve
There are so many different feelings that can come with grief. You may experience sadness, anger, guilt, and joy all at once this season. All of these are valid. Accept these emotions without judgement. Allow yourself to feel them.
Set boundaries
Do whatever feels right for you during this time. You don’t have to go to every holiday event. Do things because you want to do them, not because someone else would want you to. If you need to be alone, honor that. If you need to be around others, seek them out. Make time to care for your own needs. Get enough rest and exercise.
Plan ahead
Many find that the anticipation of the holidays without a loved one is worse than the holidays themselves. Planning ahead can ease your anxiety about what the holidays will be like. Be sure to plan some comforting activities to look forward to. Come up with an escape plan so that you can easily leave an event or activity if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Volunteer/Give
Spending time helping others this holiday season may bring some comfort in the midst of your grief. Donate to those in need in your loved one’s honor or volunteer with an organization.
Reach out for help
Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you’re struggling during the holidays. Talk about your feelings with loved ones and be honest about how you’d like to do things this year. Consider seeing a mental health professional or joining a grief support group. Here are a few resources:
-KinderMourn – Sliding scale services for bereaved parents, children, and teens
-GriefShare – Local grief support groups
https://www.griefshare.org/findagroup
-Novant Health Hospice & Supportive Care – Free counseling and bereavement support groups for anyone grieving the death of a loved one (Huntersville, Charlotte, Matthews)- (704) 384-6478
-Hospice & Palliative Care Charlotte Region – Sliding scale support groups in Huntersville, Lincolnton, Davidson, Charlotte, & Pineville
https://www.hpccr.org/grief-counseling
Therapists at Miracles Counseling Centers underand that grief is particularly difficult during the holidays. If you are grieving the loss of a loved one this holiday season, know that you are not alone. We understand that this can be a difficult time and are here to support you. Simply remember you aren’t alone in this difficulty and we want to support you so you can still find happiness this holiday season.
Source(s): health.harvard.edu, psychologytoday.com, mayoclinichealthsystem.org, aarp.org
Learn More
When the Nest Isn’t Empty – Boomerang Children
When the Nest isn’t Empty
You may have anticipated this empty nest phase of your life, and planned to manage this as a normal life transition. However, things did not end up turning out as you thought that they would. You may still have adult children living at home. According to the 2021 Census 58% of adults aged 18-24 are living at home with their parents and 17% of adults aged 25-34 are living at home with their parents. This phenomenon of adult children returning to live at home with their parents is called “Boomerang Children.” The influences on the financial needs of Boomerang Children include a shortage of affordable housing, increased student loan debt, and employment volatility. Other factors include delayed milestones, personal development, and the need for health care support. Many families find themselves in this situation, and are attempting to find balance in how to have healthy relationships with these children, who are now adults, in their home.
Life with adult children in the home can cause unexpected stress.
The present circumstances may create conflict if the adult child has differing lifestyles, values or habits. Parents may experience a loss of privacy or have difficulty adjusting their roles with adult children. This can increase emotional distress including frustration, anxiety, and disappointment. Increased conflict in your marraige is likely if the two of you disagree on the approach of having adult children in the home again. Overall, strife can occur with so many individuals in the home attempting to share space once again. It’s natural for this new and unexpected transition to feel difficult.
What can help ease the stress during this challenging time?
- Establish clear boundaries. Discuss together house rules, responsibilities, and timeframes to set expectations and avoid misunderstandings.
- Create a supportive environment by engaging in open communication through active listening without expressing judgement.
- Discuss finances openly and set an expectation to contribute to the household.
- Balance freedom and structure by respecting their privacy while holding household standards.
- Be patient. Give each other grace because adjusting to living together can be difficult for both parties.
Despite the challenging time of life together, it can also be a time of growth and joy. There are ways to continue to connect with your adult children andmake the most of this extended time together. It all starts with how we choose to look at the situation and decide to embrace it.
- Share experiences. Spend time together intentionally on a regular basis doing something you both enjoy like watching a favorite show together, meeting up weekly at a favorite restaurant, taking an exercise class, or traveling.
- Be open-minded. The younger generations have many things to offer including preferences in food, music, and décor. Be open to allowing them to teach you something.
- Encourage their interests. Just like when they were younger, be their cheerleaders and show interest in their passions and pursuits.
- Allow them to take a larger role in decision making. Allowing adult children to have input in holiday plans, meal choices, and household decisions will foster respect and provide opportunities for growth.
- Reconnect with your spouse. This is especially important! After spending years raising your children and making them a priority it is critical to prioritize your marriage. This is important for YOU, but it also provides a role model for your adult children of what healthy relationships look like. Plan regular date nights, experience new things together, support each other’s roles, and start new traditions.
Counseling can help smooth the adjustment of Boomerang Childen in the home
Transitions can be difficult, especially when they do not happen as we expected. Counseling help is available when you find it difficult to process the new needs of the family or need support engaging in the difficult conversations. Putting off addressing concerns can allow difficulties to grow, This transition can be a beautiful experience with reasonable expectations and helpful tools.
Learn MoreWhat is Art Therapy
What is Art Therapy
Written by: Brandy Prabucki, LCMHC, ATR
Art Therapy is using art as a means of self-expression, self-exploration, processing, and healing. Art Therapists are trained at a Masters level and have had education in art therapy theories, assessment, techniques and application. Many people think that art therapy is for only children and adolescents but anyone can participate in art therapy. Many people who engage in art therapy they find that it helps them express emotions deeper than words can reach.
I’m not a good artist, can I even benefit?
Here’s a little secret, you do not need to have any artistic ability to participate in art therapy. In fact, art therapy isn’t about creating a beautiful piece of art. It’s about the process of making art and what your art means to you. It can be expressive in nature, meaning you have freedom to use supplies and mediums as you choose. Alternatively, it can be a specific art directive. Art Therapists use their own creativity to choose the approach that can help their clients with where they are in their journey.
Why does art help work through our emotions?
Some may wonder how does art actually help our emotions? For instance, it can help decrease anxiety related to being in a therapy session. Have you spent time just to doodle or color a pre-patterned picture? Have you ever noticed how it feels to color something that is pre patterned? Did you notice how you felt? Did it help you relax? Slow your mind down? It has been shown in research to lower cortisol levels. So if you are feeling particularly stressed one day, color something pre-patterned, such as a mandala or coloring book (another secret, they make adult coloring books!) and see how you feel.
I have personally seen how art therapy can help build clients self esteem. It helps them understand and express themselves in a more clear way. An example of a directive I like to use with my clients is to create a collage card. They start by looking through magazines for words or images that represent who they are and what they enjoy in life. Then we process the collage they created. When you compare this to traditional talk therapy, and someone is asked to share about themselves, it can be an overwhelming question. Art expression gives people the opportunity to share so much more, and to share things they maybe wouldn’t have thought to share verbally.
Art opens accessibility to our emotional world
As you can see with this example, Art therapy can remove some of the barriers in therapy. Children are much more free in their art expression and use drawing as a form of communication. I use some assessments with children to help me understand their internal world a little better. One directive I use with younger clients is to draw a picture of themselves and their family doing something together. This type of assessment helps me see who they are possibly closest to in their families, which they could depict by who they draw themselves next too. They may draw the parent they think is in charge much larger than the other parent to depict the power they have in the family. Their size can also show how they feel in their family unit. There is some speculative interpretation that an art therapist is trained in, but there is also the processing of the art which helps the art therapist understand if those interpretations are accurate. An art therapist understands this by asking reflective questions about the image their client made. This is just a small example of how I use art in therapy.
How can I get started in Art Therapy?
It is important to note that when looking to do Art Therapy you find someone who is a Registered Art Therapist or Board Certified Art Therapist. These are the only clinicians who can call themselves Art Therapists. They have the required graduate level education and post-graduate training required by the Art Therapy Credentials Board (ATCB). The American Art Therapy Association is also a great resource to learn more about Art Therapy.
Art therapy can be a great addition to traditional talk therapy. As a licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and a Registered Art Therapist I give my clients the option to participate in Art Therapy. Some people feel they have no artistic ability so it wouldn’t be beneficial to them. If you are thinking about trying art therapy, I want to invite you to take a risk. We don’t know how beneficial something can be until we try it.
I hope this article has provided information about what art therapy is and how it can be beneficial for people seeking therapy or additional types of therapy. Art Therapy is my passion, my love for art was combined with my interest in psychology and I have seen how beneficial it can be for people. If you have any interest in learning more or beginning Art Therapy please reach out to Miracles Counseling Centers, or to myself, Brandy Prabucki, LCMHC. I look forward to meeting you.
Learn More
5 Indicators of Teen Burnout
5 Indicators of Teen Burnout
Teenage burnout is becoming increasingly common as young people juggle academic pressures, extracurricular activities, and social expectations. The reasons why teens are becoming more emotionally burned out and are struggling with anxiety and depression lies in the demands of our fast paced society. We commonly encourage teens to be well rounded in sports, AND participate in volunteering, AND excel academically to be competitive in the college application process. These influences coming from parents, coaches, teachers, and society are heard everywhere in a teens life. We also have to consider the notable impact of social media on our teens, which varying studies have shown to cause negative impacts on self esteem and feelings of inadequacy. The emotional toll including depression and anxiety that comes from life stressors is very real. Read this article so that you understand the indicators of teen burnout so you can support your child when they hit these struggles in life, and to help them rise above them.
You KNOW your teen is struggling
It’s evident when your teen is emotionally struggling with burnout. It can show up as the snappiness that seems to be just a bit more than typical for your teen. They might be honest with you and express that they don’t have enough time for everything. They could be trying to push all nighters just to keep up. Conversely, your teen may also be crashing to sleep the minute they walk through the doors or constantly seem exhausted. Seeing their light for life burnout is sad and concerning. You know that at this time in their youth, they should be finding enjoyment and living new experiences….You are right to be concerned.
5 Signs your Teen is Burned Out
There are ways you can recognize if your teen is in that burnout phase. Here are five signs that indicate a teen is experiencing burnout:
- **Exhaustion**: This goes beyond just feeling tired; it’s a persistent lack of energy that makes even daily tasks feel overwhelming. Your teen is struggling with this if their exhaustion is continuous for 1 week or longer.
- **Physical Signs**: Teens struggling with burnout frequently complain of headaches or stomach aches. A teen struggling with burn out struggles with a compromised immune system and may become sick more often. A change in your teens appetite can also indicate anxiety or depression due to stress.
- **Loss of Interest**: Activities that once brought joy—like hobbies, sports, or spending time with friends—may no longer seem appealing. Your teens’ connection with their friends is now be sidelined due to the constant pressure of their lives.
- **Darkening Mood or Cynicism**: Your teens outlook on life may be more negative life, often paired with feelings of hopelessness. Mood swings of depression and anger outbursts may be more commonplace than before. They can be feeling out of control of their life, and may have the perception that they are not able to succeed. These are signs of emotional fatique in managing life’s commitments.
- **Increased Anxiety**: Your teen is consistently expressing anxious thoughts about being enough. They may have thoughts of dread and worry about their readiness for their commitments or academic performance.
We help teens find balance and control In their lives
Therapists can play a crucial role in helping teens recover from burnout by providing emotional support, teaching coping strategies, and addressing the underlying causes of their stress. Through a variety of approaches, therapists are able to give the guidance and insight to help teens through life’s circumstances. Whether your teen needs to learn how to set boundaries, improve their self-compassion, or even needing a safe place to express themselves we can help them through their struggles with burn out. Your teen will take away a better understanding of themselves as well as the confidence to communicate their needs to be able to enjoy their lives again – and not feel exhausted from it!
Give them the chance to regain confidence in themselves
It’s important for teens to have support, whether through open conversations with family, friends, or mental health professionals. This is the opportunity you are affording them when a teenager begins counseling. Teens who begin counseling have the opportunity to address underlying issues early and improve their emotional resilience. Even more importantly, you are giving them the chance to support their development into adulthood. Our team loves to support adolescents in their journey towards adulthood, let us help them pave a healthy path forward!
Learn More
Understanding Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Understanding OCD: A Brief Tutorial About the Body’s Faulty Warning System
Written by: Sarah Groff, LCMHCS, PhD
When many people think of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), they often picture someone like Jack Nicholson’s character in the opening scenes of As Good as It Gets where he is repeatedly washing his hands with scalding water and multiple bars of soap. Although this represents one type of OCD (contamination type), it is certainly not the only presentation of this condition, nor is it simply about someone being a “germaphobe” or a “clean freak.” While our culture often throws around the term OCD to refer to someone who likes a clean home or workspace or who is particularly organized or planful, the term is far more extensive than this. In this article I will provide a brief description of OCD and some of its many presentations, as well as an explanation for why the body responds this way to certain situations. I will conclude with a few suggestions for coping skills and treatment.
What is OCD?
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5-TR), OCD is a disorder in which both obsessions and compulsions are present. The obsessions are persistent anxious or intrusive thoughts which an individual tries to alleviate by engaging in various types of compulsions designed to reduce the distress associated with these fears. Examples of obsessions include fear of harm (to oneself or another), contamination, or things being uniform (otherwise known as symmetry). Examples of compulsions include, but are not limited to, hand washing, double checking, looping thoughts, assurance seeking, avoidance, praying, or counting. To be diagnosed with OCD, these symptoms must not only be present, but must also cause substantial distress and be significantly time consuming. They also cannot be explained by some other medical or mental health condition.
Types of OCD
This list is not meant to be an exhaustive one of OCD presentations; however, these are some of the more common types:
- Harm OCD (Extreme fear of harming oneself or harming another individual. Individuals may fear they are suicidal even when they are not or that they will harm someone else even though they have no ill will toward another person.)
- Sexual Orientation OCD (Obsessions about one’s sexuality)
- Pedophilia OCD (to be differentiated from pedophilia) (This type of OCD can be particularly distressing to individuals because their obsessions do not reflect their desires.)
- Relationship OCD (Inability to tolerate uncertainty of intimate relationships, which leads to incessant questioning of the “rightness” of the relationship.)
- “Just Right” OCD (Not necessarily a specific fear, but rather a sense that something “just isn’t right” when not done a certain way.)
- Contamination OCD (Fear of getting sick or coming into contact with germs)
- Pure-O OCD (This type is somewhat debated, but is used to describe those individuals who do not exhibit visible compulsions; however, compulsions are still present, such as looping or ruminating thoughts.)
- Scrupulosity/Religious OCD (Obsessions about violating moral, ethical, or religious beliefs)
The Brain’s Faulty Warning System
Oftentimes, OCD is referred to as the brain’s faulty warning system because it perceives a threat when there is none. Although anxie
ty and OCD can be precipitated by an actual event, such as a car accident, this is not always the case. More often than not, the obsessive thoughts are an endless stream of “what if” scenarios that never happen. Biologically, the body is designed to keep us safe and it will go to great lengths to do so. In the brain of someone with OCD, it will engage in a cycle of obsessions and compulsions as a way of maintaining hypervigilance, believing this is what keeps the body safe. The unconscious rationale is that “As long as I continue to think about this thing and keep it at the forefront of my mind, th
en I won’t let my guard down and be hurt.” Because these thoughts are so distressing, however, the body also engages in compulsive behaviors to temporarily alleviate the stress, worry, and fear that come with them. The driver of this whole process is UNCERTAINTY. If the body detects uncertainty, whether false or actual, it will kick the cycle into gear. As mentioned above, for the person struggling with OCD, this can be an extremely debilitating process. The key to OCD recovery is breaking the obsessive-compulsive cycle and going to solution.
Treatment for OCD
There are a variety of effective approaches to treating OCD, including medication, which is necessary for many individuals. With appropriate medication, therapeutic interventions, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) can be highly effective. The primary goal in my work with clients who struggle with OCD is to teach them why their body is responding the way it is, to recognize intrusive thoughts as they arise, and to learn to reassure themselves that they are safe. This involves a client thanking the body for keeping him/her safe and then identifying solutions to do this without the “help” of OCD.
If you or someone who know is struggling with OCD, therapy is an excellent tool for recovery. Please feel free to reach out to our office to schedule a session with one of our many trained and compassionate providers.
Sarah Groff, LCMHCS, PhD is a counselor with Miracles Counseling Centers, Mooresville. She is experienced in supporting blended family systems, and a wide variety of issues, including grief and loss, marriage, divorce, blended families, infertility, parenting, adoption and foster care, depression, anxiety, and work-related stress. She is a passionate advocate in the field of mental health, and a compassionate, insightful support to her clients.
Learn More
Understanding Childhood Depression
Childhood Depression, What parents need to know
If you are here, you have concerns. Are you noticing your child isn’t being “themselves?” Is your child isolating away from family or friends. Or perhaps they are expressing a disliking of themselves saying they are stupid or no one likes them? Children DO go through depression. But their cues that this is the case are much more subtle. Childhood depression can be difficult to recognize but not hard when you know what signs to look for.
We know you want your child to have the best childhood they can, and also to love themselves! When children struggle with sadness, poor self esteem, and depression they are not living their best lives. Giving space and validity that their emotions are ok to talk about is a major step towards helping them to heal when they are going through depression, sadness, and social stressors such as bullying.
Learn more about children’s counseling
Depression impacts the whole child
Children who struggle with depression can slowly turn into themselves. This will cause a disconnection from friends, their schooling, and family. Childhood depression can lead to poor sleep and at times over or under eating. If it is left untreated depression during childhood can increase the risk of prolonged, severe depressive episodes in the future and can also lead to towars increased risk of self-injurious behavior. We know that children will potentially struggle socially and academically as well. With help, your child can rebuild their confidence again, returning back to the fun and learning that childhood can give them. This is why it is important to address childhood depression as early as possible.
Recognizing when your child needs help
Every child will occasionally feel sad or hopeless. So how can you tell if your child is depressed or just sad? Children and adolescents who have depression typically experience persistent, intense feelings of sadness and hopelessness that impacts their daily functioning. Early recognition and treatment of depression in children and adolescents can be life-saving. Due to their youth, often children do not have the vocabularly to really express what they are feeling. But as a parent, you can often tell something is quite right.
These are signs that your child could be struggling with depressed feelings:
>Unusual sadness or irritability that persists despite time
>Little to no interest in activities previously enjoyed
>Changes in eating patterns
>Changes in sleep patterns
>Sluggishness and decrease in energy
>Shift in behavior and/or academic performance
>Harsh self-assessment and feelings of worthlessness
>Self-injury or self-destructive behavior
>Thoughts of or attempts at suicide
Can counseling help my child?
The good news is that depression is VERY treatable, but the sooner the better! Having your child begin counseling sets the tone for them seeking emotional health support in their adulthood. Our therapists use several different evidence-based therapies that are shown to be effective in treating depression in children and adolescents, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, interpersonal therapy, dialectical behavior therapy, and play therapy.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): During CBT, our therapists help children and adolescents understand how their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are all connected. We collaborate with children to set and achieve goals, such as identifying and changing unhelpful thought patterns, and teach them the skills needed to cope with their symptoms.
Interpersonal therapy (IPT): In IPT, our therapists focus on children’s social relationships, which can either maintain their depression or suffer because of it. We teach children proper communication and problem-solving skills, and help them understand how their relationships may affect their mood. IPT can be adapted for adolescents with depression to address romantic relationships and communication with parents and peers. Parents may be asked to participate in these sessions.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): DBT is a helpful therapy for children with more severe depression who might engage in self-harm or experience suicidal thoughts. During DBT, our therapists teach children and adolescents the practice of mindfulness, as well as problem-solving skills, to help them manage distress and difficult situations in a healthy way.
Play Therapy: We believe that children can communicate and express themselves through play. In play therapy, our therapists help children address their depression and cope with their depressive symptoms. We use play to teach children how to communicate, express their feelings, take responsibility for their behavior, problem-solve, relate to others, and develop self-efficacy.
We love working with children!
We know your love for your child and we take this responsibility seriously in growing healthy young people in our communities. We are ready to support your child in being the healthiest version of themselves when they need us.
Source: Child Mind, CDC, & Anxiety & Depresion Association of America
Learn MoreHow to recognize ADHD in children
How to recognize ADHD in Children
ADHD stands for attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and is a common neurodevelopmental disorder that often appears in early childhood, before the age of 7. ADHD is neurodivergent because it’s a neurodevelopmental disorder that changes how you think and process information. Many of us have a laymen’s understanding of ADHD, but telling the difference of symptoms versus normal childhood behavior can be difficult.
What does the science say about ADHD
Scientists believe these differences are due to the unique structure and chemistry of the ADHD brain. ADHD typically involves a combination of inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity, but there are different types of ADHD in which all of these characteristics may not be present. If you are concerned that your child could struggle with this condition, do not fret! Neurological differences are quickly becoming understood and adaptive teaching approaches are being incorporated to help children with ADHD be successful in their lives.
What are the signs of ADHD in children?
Getting a quality and comprehensive evaluation is critical to accurate dignosis. This will most likely look like getting the feedback not just from parents, but also from school staff. Taken into consideration will be their performance in all environments, age of onset, as well as family history. In diagnosing ADHD in children, the following are symptoms of inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity that a doctor or mental health professional will look for:
Inattention:
-
- Difficulty staying focused; gets easily distracted or bored with a task before it is finished
- Does not seem to listen to others when spoken to
- Doesn’t pay attention to details and makes careless mistakes
- Difficulty following directions
- Trouble remembering things
- Poor organizational skills
Impulsivity:
-
- Acts without thinking
- Often interrupts others or intrudes on conversations/activities
- Difficulty waiting for his/her turn
- Blurts out answers and guesses instead of taking the time to solve problems
- Inability to keep powerful emotions in check (may result in angry outbursts/tantrums)
Hyperactivity:
-
- Excessive fidgeting or squirming
- Talks excessively
- Difficulty sitting still
- Constantly moving, often running or climbing
- Trouble engaging in quiet or relaxing activities
What is the difference between normal behavior and ADHD?
All children can be inattentive, hyperactive, or impulsive at times, so it can be hard to distinguish between typical kid behavior and ADHD. If your child is only exhibiting a few of these symptoms, or they only appear in certain situations, this probably isn’t ADHD. However, if your child appears to be showing many of these signs and they’re present across all situations (i.e. school, home, play), it might be time to consider an evaluation for ADHD. An evaluation can be performed by a psychologist, psychiatrist, and a qualified mental health clinician.
How is ADHD in children treated?
Children with ADHD commonly experience certain challenges, such as difficulty with school, making friends, or managing their behavior. Therefore, it is important to seek the proper treatment. Effective treatments for ADHD include behavior therapy, parent education and training, social skill development, and, often, medication (prescribed by a medical doctor or psychiatrist). Several of our therapists offer support for ADHD in children, visit our clinicians page to explore a therapist that can help you address this issue.
Source(s): mayoclinic.org, hopkinsmedicine.org
Learn MoreWhat to know and how to approach childhood ADHD
Parenting a child with ADHD
Many children struggling with childhood ADHD, or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, struggle with impulse control. Impulsivity involves reacting to stimuli without thinking. For kids, this might look like blurting out, bolting away, or throwing a temper tantrum. Often, impulsivity can lead to greater challenges for children, such as behavior issues, feelings of shame, or difficulty forming relationships. It is important to remember that the cause of ADHD is neurologically based – it is in the brain and organic. Those children with ADHD are not choosing their behaviors, and are not lazy. When ADHD is not properly managed, impulsivity and its repercussions can follow children into adulthood.
Strategies that work (YES!) with ADHD
The good news is that there are several strategies that are effective in helping children with ADHD learn impulse control, or how to stop and think before acting. Here are some you can try:
Understand your child’s impulses- Know that your child’s impulsive behaviors are not intentional acts of disobedience, but a limited processing reaction. For example, a child does not necessarily want to run in front of a car when they see the ice cream truck. They just know that they want ice cream.
Establish clear behavior expectations- Define the rules. Instead of telling your child to “be good” at school, be explicit about how you expect them to behave. When giving directions or expectations, ask your child to repeat them back to you. This teaches them to listen.
Discipline effectively and consistently- Think of discipline as an opportunity to instruct, rather than to merely punish. Focus on the behavior itself as a problem that can be corrected, instead of making the child think he/she is the problem. Address the behavior as soon as it happens by clearly communicating the negative action and applying consistent consequences.
Praise positive behavior- It’s important to be clear about what your child does right in addition to what they do wrong. Respond with praise when your child exhibits good impulse control, and be consistent. Many children who struggle with impulsivity want to behave and are more likely to do so when they understand what the preferred behavior looks like. Create a reward system, such as a token economy system, which can be a fun way to practice delayed gratification.
Help your child understand and label their emotions- When children do not understand their emotions or how to properly express them, they are more likely to act impulsively. Teach your child to recognize and label their emotions, so they can tell others how they feel, instead of showing them. Talk about the difference between feelings and behavior (“It’s okay to be angry, but it’s not okay to hit someone.”)
Model healthy behaviors- Your child can learn a lot about impulse control simply by watching you. Demonstrate patience and delayed gratification. When you address your child’s negative behavior, do so in a calm, collective manner. Avoid impulsive, angry responses. Try to model healthy self-talk by pointing out your own impulse control (“This is a long line, but we have to wait patiently for our turn.”).
Encourage physical activity- Giving your child opportunities when it is appropriate to run, jump, and climb will allow them to be more self-disciplined during times when these behaviors are not appropriate.
Offer fun opportunities to practice impulse control- Games like Simon Says, Red Light Green Light, and Follow the Leader are great ways for your child to practice self-control. Your child should feel like this is for fun and enjoyment, so be careful in your approach. You don’t want them to feel like they are being forced to play.
Encourage creativity in problem solving/suggest alternative behaviors- Help your child understand that there is more than one way to solve a problem and it is important to think through their options before taking action. Practice brainstorming different solutions to problems/alternative behaviors and evaluating these together. For example, if your child is feeling angry, screaming into a pillow or kicking a ball outside are better options than hitting someone.
Work together on emotion regulation strategies- Teach your child to take deep breaths or take a walk around the house if they are feeling overwhelmed by strong emotions. Create a calm down kit that can help them relax on their own or establish a safe space that they can go to calm down.
Helping children with ADHD manage their impulsivity can be a challenging task for parents. Often times it is helpful to have a professional help you to look at your unique situation and work together with you to find an effective plan that fits your family. If you find yourself struggling, reach out to us! We have several therapists that can help support you and your child with specific issues related to ADHD!
Source(s): childmind.org, ct.counseling.org, healthline.com, fastbrain.com, verywellfamily.com
Learn More