Depression in Men IS Different

Breaking the Silence: Understanding Depression in Men

Are you feeling like something’s just not right, but you can’t quite put your finger on it? You have been feeling more frustrated, isolated, and more tired than usual, but you don’t know why. Or perhaps you’ve been pushing yourself to “just get through it,” but it seems harder every day. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and what you might be experiencing could be depression. Before you brush it off… yes, men can get depressed too, even if it doesn’t look like what you might think. The truth is, depression affects millions of men. Unfortunately, the way it shows up often looks different than what one may expect.

What Does Depression in Men look like?

Depression is more than just feeling “down” or “sad.” It’s a serious mental health condition that affects millions of men globally. In fact, research shows that one in eight men will experience depression in their lifetime (American Psychological Association, 2020). Yet, the way depression manifests in men is often different from how it’s typically recognized in others. While sadness and hopelessness are common symptoms, many men find themselves feeling irritable, frustrated, or even physically drained.

It’s important to recognize that depression in men can look and feel different. Men often don’t express their struggles with tears or obvious sadness. Instead, they might feel exhausted, angry, or withdrawn. This doesn’t make their experience any less real—it just means that they may be suffering in ways that don’t immediately scream “depression.” Unfortunately, societal norms around masculinity can make it even harder for men to recognize their depression or seek the help they need.

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Why Men’s Depression is Often Overlooked

1. Cultural Expectations: Whether intentionally or unintentionally society has normalized the concept of suppressed emotions in men.
   From a young age, many men are taught to suppress their emotions. Phrases like “man up,” “don’t cry,” or “brush it off” are often thrown around, sending the message that expressing vulnerability is a weakness. These cultural expectations can lead to men bottling up their emotions, pushing them aside in favor of appearing tough or in control. As a result, it becomes harder for them to even recognize what they’re going through—let alone ask for help.
2. Stigma: Although mental/emotional awareness has grown tremendously, mental health issues, especially in men, are still stigmatized. Admitting to depression can feel like a sign of weakness. Asking for help, whether it’s through therapy or just talking to someone, can feel like admitting failure. Unfortunately, this stigma prevents many men from acknowledging their depression or reaching out for support. Some may believe that opening up about their mental health will make them seem less capable or less of a man.
3. Misdiagnosis:There is a common misinterpretation of depression symptoms in men. Due to depression symptoms in men not always showing up the “traditional way”, oftentimes, their depression goes undiagnosed. In fact, men are less likely to recognize their own depression, and healthcare professionals may not always connect their symptoms to a mental health issue. This leads to missed opportunities for treatment and healing (National Institute of Mental Health, 2023).

What Causes Depression?

Unfortunately, there is no one size fits all answer for why depression happens, but essentially depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. I’m sure you’re wondering “what does that even mean?”, lol, here’s some additional clarity:

1. Biological Factors: Changes in brain chemistry, genetic predisposition, hormonal shifts (e.g., during puberty, pregnancy, or menopause), and chronic illnesses can all contribute to depression.
2. Psychological Factors: People with negative thinking patterns, low self-esteem, or past trauma may be more prone to depression. Cognitive patterns, like rumination,can deepen feelings of hopelessness.
3. Environmental Stress: Major life events such as job loss, divorce, or grief, along with social isolation or ongoing stress, can trigger or worsen depression.
4. Substance Use: Alcohol and drug use can temporarily numb feelings but often make depression worse over time by altering brain chemistry.
5. Sleep and Nutrition: Lack of sleep or nutritional deficiencies can contribute to depression, and the two can create a cycle that’s hard to break.
   Perhaps reading that felt very general and not exactly specific to men. The causes for depression are predominantly the same across genders. However, one notable difference is the tendency for men to consistently suppress their emotions. Constantly suppressing emotions is like putting a band aid on a gunshot wound, the pain still lies underneath and continues to get worse when left untreated.

How You Can Support Men with Depression

1. Encourage open conversation: Create an environment where men can talk about their emotions without fear of judgment. Encourage the idea that speaking about emotions are actually strengths, and is not a weakness.
2. Ask questions: For example asking something like “How can I best support you in this season?”, offers a compassionate way to invite men to share what they need. Studies suggest that asking open-ended questions encourages self-reflection and facilitates the healing process (Seidler et al., 2016).
3. Seek professional help: Encourage them to seek help. Therapy is a space that can bridge the gap between suffering in silence and having your own personal outlet. His counselor will serve as a guide who listens with empathy and works with you to create a personalized plan for healing. Professional intervention has been shown to improve mental health outcomes and can significantly reduce the impact of depression (Cuijpers et al., 2010).
4. Promote healthy coping strategies: Encourage your loved one to cope in a healthy way. Physical activity has been found to reduce symptoms of depression by releasing endorphins and improving mood (Schuch et al., 2016). In addition to physical activity, healthy eating, engaging in hobbies, spending time with loved one and a balanced sleep schedule are important to improve overall mental health.

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Are You or Someone You Know Experiencing Symptoms?

We’ve all heard the phrase ‘man up,’ but let’s be real.. sometimes ‘man-ing up’ means recognizing when you need help. It doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human.

Let’s stomp out the stigma! Counseling isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a courageous step toward understanding your emotions and finding a path to healing. If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, consider reaching out to a professional counselor.

Here at Miracles Counseling Centers, we believe in offering compassionate and knowledgeable support to help individuals through their mental health journey. We understand the struggles men face with depression, and we are here to walk alongside you, providing a safe, supportive space to explore your emotions, goals, and path to healing.

 

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Why is Depression so hard to recognize?

According to Gallup, 29% of American adults have been diagnosed with depression in their lifetime (up 8% since 2018). Depression has likely been present in humans since the beginning, however the prevalence of depression has been on the rise in recent history likely due to destigmatization, the emergence of new studies, and increased access to resources such as therapy and other mental health providers. Although the numbers surrounding depression have become more clear, there is still a large population of people that are experiencing depressive symptoms that are unaware that depression is what they are experiencing due to its deceptive nature. This is why depression is so hard to recognize. 

But we all get sad sometimes, right?

One of the most deceptive aspects of depression is its talent for manifesting as seemingly ordinary emotions or experiences. It is normal to have feelings of sadness, fatigue, disinterest, and overall lack of enjoyment in things that you previously did. It is easy to dismiss them as fleeting moods or momentary setbacks. However, if you are noticing these emotions persist for an extended period and begin to interfere with your daily life, they may be indicative of a deeper issue. Because of the long term persistance of these symptoms, it is easy to not realize the depth of impact they are holding over you. 

Additionally, despite significant strides in mental health awareness, stigma is still a present force that holds people back from opening up discussions about their mental health.. Many individuals hesitate to acknowledge their struggles due to fear of judgment or perceived weakness. This reluctance to confront the issue head-on can perpetuate a cycle of denial, making it even harder to seek help. Realizations in life are often found in conversations with others, and stigma makes it difficult for some to initiate conversations surrounding mental health.

The Mask of Emotional Numbness

Depression has a way of numbing the senses, dulling the ability to experience emotions fully. This emotional numbness can make it challenging to recognize and articulate feelings of despair or hopelessness, as the capacity for self-awareness becomes clouded by a sense of apathy. 

Depression Coping Mechanisms

In an attempt to cope with internal turmoil, you could be grappling with depression in order to develop coping mechanisms that serve as protective shields. Whether it’s putting on a brave face in social situations or burying oneself in work to distract from inner turmoil, these coping strategies can create an illusion of normalcy, further obscuring the reality of depression and preventing those around them from noticing changes in appearance or behavior.

Furthermore, societal and cultural norms and expectations have significantly impacted our awareness of how depression is experienced. Men are often taught as young boys not to cry otherwise they are being “babies” or are weak. In East Asian cultures, depression is experienced in more somatic presentation such as body aches or fatigue, while in Latin American cultures depression might be expressed through symptoms of “nervios” (nervousness) or “ataques de nervios” (attacks of nerves), which include a mix of emotional and physical symptoms such as trembling, crying, and chest pain. How we learn and identify depression varies from family to family, and culture to culture. 

The Vicious Cycle of Self-Doubt

Depression often breeds self-doubt, whispering mistruths about one’s worth and capabilities. This internal dialogue can distort perceptions of reality, leading individuals to question the validity of their emotions and downplay the severity of their struggles to both themselves and others. In the absence of external validation and opinion, it becomes increasingly difficult to trust one’s own judgment and acknowledge the presence of depression.

Depression Varies Based on Age

Identifying child and adolescent depression is difficult because the symptoms vary from those in adults. Unlike the classically depressed adult, who reports low energy sadness, and hypersomnia or insomnia, a depressed adolescent is more likely to manifest a decreased interest in formerly pleasurable activities and irritability A practitioner looking for the lethargic, weepy, and expressively depressed patient may be misled by the irritable adolescent.

Self-destructiveness is also a classic marker for depression in youth. Many studies have found that psychiatric disorders in adolescents, especially major depression, make high-risk sexual behaviors and substance abuse more likely. 

The Importance of Seeking Support

You can break free from the grip of depression beginning with acknowledging its presence and reaching out for support. Whether through therapy, medication, or the support of loved ones, there are various avenues for healing and recovery. However, this journey can only commence once the veil of denial is lifted and the truth of one’s condition is confronted with courage and honesty.

In conclusion, the confusing aspects of depression lie in its ability to hide itself, making it hard for individuals to recognize the signs within themselves. By shedding light on this phenomenon and fostering open dialogue about mental health, we can work towards dismantling the barriers that prevent people from seeking the help they need. Remember, you are not alone, and there is hope and support available to guide you through difficult times towards a brighter tomorrow. 

Therapists at Miracles Counseling Centers are very skilled in helping you to recover from depression. Please reach out to us to set up an appointment if you need guidance and support in this process. 

 

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What does high functioning anxiety or depression look like?

You may have heard people around you using the term “high-functioning” to describe themselves and their mental health. Phrases such as high-functioning anxiety and high-functioning depression are being used more and more, but what do they mean?

High-functioning anxiety and depression are not technically clinical diagnoses because they are not listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), a handbook used by mental health professionals. However, many practitioners and researchers recognize that people can experience symptoms of anxiety or depression and continue to be highly functioning, productive individuals. Those who have high functioning anxiety or depression may not appear to struggle with it on the surface, despite experiencing symptoms internally. To others, they may seem to have it all together or go about their days as they normally would.

What Does High-Functioning Anxiety Look Like?

People with high-functioning anxiety may experience symptoms of anxiety disorders, such as excessive worrying most days, feelings of restlessness, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, irritability, muscle tension, or trouble sleeping. However, these symptoms do not cause significant problems across areas of their lives and do not inhibit daily functioning. Some common characteristics of individuals with high-functioning anxiety include:

• High-achieving, with a fear of failure
• Extremely organized & detail-oriented
• Engages in nervous habits, such as nail-biting, hair twirling, lip biting, leg shaking, etc.
• Perfectionist with a harsh inner critic
• Active & needs to keep “doing,” finding it hard to relax
• Appears calm on the outside, but may have racing thoughts 
• People pleaser who has a hard time saying no
• Procrastinates when stressed 
• Talks a lot or has nervous chatter
• Overthinks and overanalyzes everything
• Difficulty expressing emotions 
• Need for repetitions and reassurance 
• Tendency to dwell on the negative

What Does High-Functioning Depression Look Like?

Similarly to high functioning anxiety, individuals with high-functioning depression may not meet the criteria for a clinical diagnosis of depression, but are able to function normally most of the time. Thus, their depression is often not clear to others or themselves. Typical symptoms of depression would include persistent sad mood, feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, and/or guilt, loss of interest in hobbies or activities, fatigue, irritability, trouble sleeping, changes in appetite or weight, or thoughts of death or suicide. The following may be characteristic of an individual with high-functioning depression:

• Feeling a little down most of the time
• Poor self-esteem
• Difficulty making decisions
• Low energy and motivation 
• Performs well at school or work, but has difficulty focusing on tasks
• Crying a lot without any concrete reason
• Forcing oneself to engage in social activities when they’d rather withdraw 
• Feeling overwhelmed 
• Feeling lonely 

The Role of Stress

Before determining whether or not you have high-functioning anxiety or depression, it is important to first consider current stressors and evaluate their impact on your life. April is National Stress Awareness Month. We all experience stress in response to challenging circumstances and some times are more stressful than others. This is our body’s normal response. However, if these symptoms persist well beyond a stressful event or are consistent and unrelated to specific stressors, you may be experiencing high-functioning anxiety or depression. 

This truly highlights the importance of good mental health care and scheduling check in’s with a mental health therapist. The opportunity for building insight and awareness of our emotional loads and the management of that load is done best with the help and insight of a professional who can guide you through this. Everyone should consider seeing a therapist! When you are ready to do so, you can visit our therapist’s page to find a clinician who fits you best. 

Sources: nimh.nih.gov, rtor.org, psyccentral.com, waldenu.edu, health.usnews.com, washingtonpost.com

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