The Benefits of Play for your Child

Building Strong Emotional Bonds Through Play

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Playing with your children is a natural human instinct. Whether it is rough housing, playing pretend, or using toys, this type of activity is seemingly hardwired in the human brain. Although it may seem somewhat insignificant at surface-level, playing with your child has many benefits. In fact, play is incredibly significant to the growth and development of your child!

Play is how children understand the world

Garry Landreth, the founder of child-centered play therapy, states that “toys are children’s words, and play is their language”. He goes on to state that children frequently use playing as symbolic self-expression. Play can represent things that they desire, need, or are experiencing in their lives. Children do not operate in the cognitive or verbal world; they express through play. Play is an important part of services for children and adolescents in our office as research shows.

You have already seen the power of play

You may have observed this truth in your own children. The ease they use their imagination is automatic. You have witnessed them recreating adult relationships in their play with others. Children are powerful observers as well. When your child shares with you what they see others doing, this is emotional learning in action. We also know that physically active children are healthier. This is what helps them to develop balance and hand eye coordination. Think back. Your young athlete’s skill and responsiveness improves each season. These are examples of how play helps the child socially, emotionally, and physically as the grow. 

Be a part of their growth through play

Playing with your children presents an opportunity to create a space that is safe for them. This gives them the potential to express what they are wanting, needing, or experiencing in a manner that is natural and comfortable for them. In this way you are meeting them where they are.  So why not play more? 

Playing with your has multiple potential benefits: 

1. Assisting the development of secure emotional attachment
   • The way a child learns to attach to others is based on their life circumstances. This is especially true during their critical development periods. To develop a secure attachment a few things are required. First, emotional attunement. Secondly, a safe environment. Lastly, parents who positively interact with their children.
2. Bolstering Emotion Regulation Skills 
   • While playing with a child, there are often situations in which the child can become very angry or frustrated. You can model healthy emotion regulation during play. This helps guide them through frustrating situations. In this way, the child can learn how to pro-social behaviors to other circumstances when you are not present. 
3. Building Self-Confidence 
   • During play, children may often find themselves in tough situations to overcomel. Parents can empower the child by supporting them as they conquer the challenges they face during play. This process can assist in the development of individuality and self-confidence. 
4. Reinforcement of Positive Behaviors 
   • During play, children may exhibit behaviors that are both positive and negative. Playing with your child can provide an opportunity for you to reinforce positive behaviors in real time.  When positive behaviors occur, you can reinforce those behaviors with phrases like “I noticed you sharing your toy with me, great job!” These responses increase the presence of positive behaviors.
5. Mutual Enjoyment 
   • Playing can be an activity that is mutually enjoyable for both parent and child. Memories can be made and the bond can be strengthened. 

Play can be an excellent tool to accomplish these goals and more. Through the process of entering their world, you may find that it is an effective tool to add to your parenting toolbelt. Being a “kid” again may feel unnatural initially.  Knowing how to interact and play with your child is a skill that can be learned! Our child therapists are able to set the example and help you learn how to get down to your child’s level.

 

 

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Understanding Childhood Depression

Childhood Depression, What parents need to know

 

If you are here, you have concerns. Are you noticing your child isn’t being “themselves?” Is your child isolating away from family or friends. Or perhaps they are expressing a disliking of themselves saying they are stupid or no one likes them? Children DO go through depression. But their cues that this is the case are much more subtle. Childhood depression can be difficult to recognize but not hard when you know what signs to look for.

We know you want your child to have the best childhood they can, and also to love themselves! When children struggle with sadness, poor self esteem, and depression they are not living their best lives. Giving space and validity that their emotions are ok to talk about is a major step towards helping them to heal when they are going through depression, sadness, and social stressors such as bullying.

 

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Depression impacts the whole child

 

Children who struggle with depression can slowly turn into themselves. This will cause a disconnection from friends, their schooling, and family. Childhood depression can lead to poor sleep and at times over or under eating. If it is left untreated depression during childhood can increase the risk of prolonged, severe depressive episodes in the future and can also lead to towars increased risk of self-injurious behavior. We know that children will potentially struggle socially and academically as well. With help, your child can rebuild their confidence again, returning back to the fun and learning that childhood can give them. This is why it is important to address childhood depression as early as possible.

Recognizing when your child needs help

 

Every child will occasionally feel sad or hopeless. So how can you tell if your child is depressed or just sad? Children and adolescents who have depression typically experience persistent, intense feelings of sadness and hopelessness that impacts their daily functioning. Early recognition and treatment of depression in children and adolescents can be life-saving. Due to their youth, often children do not have the vocabularly to really express what they are feeling. But as a parent, you can often tell something is quite right.

 

These are signs that your child could be struggling with depressed feelings:

 

>Unusual sadness or irritability that persists despite time

>Little to no interest in activities previously enjoyed

>Changes in eating patterns

>Changes in sleep patterns

>Sluggishness and decrease in energy

>Shift in behavior and/or academic performance

>Harsh self-assessment and feelings of worthlessness

>Self-injury or self-destructive behavior

>Thoughts of or attempts at suicide

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Can counseling help my child?

 

The good news is that depression is VERY treatable, but the sooner the better! Having your child begin counseling sets the tone for them seeking emotional health support in their adulthood. Our therapists use several different evidence-based therapies that are shown to be effective in treating depression in children and adolescents, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, interpersonal therapy, dialectical behavior therapy, and play therapy.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): During CBT, our therapists help children and adolescents understand how their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are all connected. We collaborate with children to set and achieve goals, such as identifying and changing unhelpful thought patterns, and teach them the skills needed to cope with their symptoms.

Interpersonal therapy (IPT): In IPT, our therapists focus on children’s social relationships, which can either maintain their depression or suffer because of it. We teach children proper communication and problem-solving skills, and help them understand how their relationships may affect their mood. IPT can be adapted for adolescents with depression to address romantic relationships and communication with parents and peers. Parents may be asked to participate in these sessions.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): DBT is a helpful therapy for children with more severe depression who might engage in self-harm or experience suicidal thoughts. During DBT, our therapists teach children and adolescents the practice of mindfulness, as well as problem-solving skills, to help them manage distress and difficult situations in a healthy way.

Play Therapy: We believe that children can communicate and express themselves through play. In play therapy, our therapists help children address their depression and cope with their depressive symptoms. We use play to teach children how to communicate, express their feelings, take responsibility for their behavior, problem-solve, relate to others, and develop self-efficacy.

We love working with children!

 

We know your love for your child and we take this responsibility seriously in growing healthy young people in our communities. We are ready to support your child in being the healthiest version of themselves when they need us.

 

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Source: Child Mind, CDC, & Anxiety & Depresion Association of America

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How to recognize ADHD in children

How to recognize ADHD in Children

ADHD stands for attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and is a common neurodevelopmental disorder that often appears in early childhood, before the age of 7. ADHD is  neurodivergent because it’s a neurodevelopmental disorder that changes how you think and process information. Many of us have a laymen’s understanding of ADHD, but telling the difference of symptoms versus normal childhood behavior can be difficult. 

What does the science say about ADHD

Scientists believe these differences are due to the unique structure and chemistry of the ADHD brain. ADHD typically involves a combination of inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity, but there are different types of ADHD in which all of these characteristics may not be present. If you are concerned that your child could struggle with this condition, do not fret! Neurological differences are quickly becoming understood and adaptive teaching approaches are being incorporated to help children with ADHD be successful in their lives. 

What are the signs of ADHD in children?

Getting a quality and comprehensive evaluation is critical to accurate dignosis. This will most likely look like getting the feedback not just from parents, but also from school staff. Taken into consideration will be their performance in all environments, age of onset, as well as family history. In diagnosing ADHD in children, the following are symptoms of inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity that a doctor or mental health professional will look for: 

Inattention: 

• • Difficulty staying focused; gets easily distracted or bored with a task before it is finished 
  • Does not seem to listen to others when spoken to 
  • Doesn’t pay attention to details and makes careless mistakes
  • Difficulty following directions
  • Trouble remembering things 
  • Poor organizational skills

Impulsivity:

• • Acts without thinking 
  • Often interrupts others or intrudes on conversations/activities 
  • Difficulty waiting for his/her turn 
  • Blurts out answers and guesses instead of taking the time to solve problems
  • Inability to keep powerful emotions in check (may result in angry outbursts/tantrums)

Hyperactivity: 

• • Excessive fidgeting or squirming
  • Talks excessively
  • Difficulty sitting still
  • Constantly moving, often running or climbing 
  • Trouble engaging in quiet or relaxing activities 

What is the difference between normal behavior and ADHD?

All children can be inattentive, hyperactive, or impulsive at times, so it can be hard to distinguish between typical kid behavior and ADHD. If your child is only exhibiting a few of these symptoms, or they only appear in certain situations, this probably isn’t ADHD. However, if your child appears to be showing many of these signs and they’re present across all situations (i.e. school, home, play), it might be time to consider an evaluation for ADHD. An evaluation can be performed by a psychologist, psychiatrist, and a qualified mental health clinician. 

How is ADHD in children treated?

Children with ADHD commonly experience certain challenges, such as difficulty with school, making friends, or managing their behavior. Therefore, it is important to seek the proper treatment. Effective treatments for ADHD include behavior therapy, parent education and training, social skill development, and, often, medication (prescribed by a medical doctor or psychiatrist). Several of our therapists offer support for ADHD in children, visit our clinicians page to explore a therapist that can help you address this issue. 

 

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Source(s): mayoclinic.org, hopkinsmedicine.org

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What to know and how to approach childhood ADHD

Parenting a child with ADHD

Many children struggling with childhood ADHD, or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, struggle with impulse control. Impulsivity involves reacting to stimuli without thinking. For kids, this might look like blurting out, bolting away, or throwing a temper tantrum. Often, impulsivity can lead to greater challenges for children, such as behavior issues, feelings of shame, or difficulty forming relationships. It is important to remember that the cause of ADHD is neurologically based – it is in the brain and organic. Those children with ADHD are not choosing their behaviors, and are not lazy. When ADHD is not properly managed, impulsivity and its repercussions can follow children into adulthood.

 

Strategies that work (YES!) with ADHD

The good news is that there are several strategies that are effective in helping children with ADHD learn impulse control, or how to stop and think before acting. Here are some you can try: 

 

Understand your child’s impulses- Know that your child’s impulsive behaviors are not intentional acts of disobedience, but a limited processing reaction. For example, a child does not necessarily want to run in front of a car when they see the ice cream truck. They just know that they want ice cream. 

Establish clear behavior expectations- Define the rules. Instead of telling your child to “be good” at school, be explicit about how you expect them to behave. When giving directions or expectations, ask your child to repeat them back to you. This teaches them to listen.

Discipline effectively and consistently- Think of discipline as an opportunity to instruct, rather than to merely punish. Focus on the behavior itself as a problem that can be corrected, instead of making the child think he/she is the problem. Address the behavior as soon as it happens by clearly communicating the negative action and applying consistent consequences.

Praise positive behavior- It’s important to be clear about what your child does right in addition to what they do wrong. Respond with praise when your child exhibits good impulse control, and be consistent. Many children who struggle with impulsivity want to behave and are more likely to do so when they understand what the preferred behavior looks like. Create a reward system, such as a token economy system, which can be a fun way to practice delayed gratification. 

Help your child understand and label their emotions- When children do not understand their emotions or how to properly express them, they are more likely to act impulsively. Teach your child to recognize and label their emotions, so they can tell others how they feel, instead of showing them. Talk about the difference between feelings and behavior (“It’s okay to be angry, but it’s not okay to hit someone.”)

Model healthy behaviors- Your child can learn a lot about impulse control simply by watching you. Demonstrate patience and delayed gratification. When you address your child’s negative behavior, do so in a calm, collective manner. Avoid impulsive, angry responses. Try to model healthy self-talk by pointing out your own impulse control (“This is a long line, but we have to wait patiently for our turn.”).

Encourage physical activity- Giving your child opportunities when it is appropriate to run, jump, and climb will allow them to be more self-disciplined during times when these behaviors are not appropriate. 

Offer fun opportunities to practice impulse control- Games like Simon Says, Red Light Green Light, and Follow the Leader are great ways for your child to practice self-control. Your child should feel like this is for fun and enjoyment, so be careful in your approach. You don’t want them to feel like they are being forced to play.

Encourage creativity in problem solving/suggest alternative behaviors- Help your child understand that there is more than one way to solve a problem and it is important to think through their options before taking action. Practice brainstorming different solutions to problems/alternative behaviors and evaluating these together. For example, if your child is feeling angry, screaming into a pillow or kicking a ball outside are better options than hitting someone.

Work together on emotion regulation strategies- Teach your child to take deep breaths or take a walk around the house if they are feeling overwhelmed by strong emotions. Create a calm down kit that can help them relax on their own or establish a safe space that they can go to calm down.

 

Helping children with ADHD manage their impulsivity can be a challenging task for parents. Often times it is helpful to have a professional help you to look at your unique situation and work together with you to find an effective plan that fits your family.  If you find yourself struggling, reach out to us! We have several therapists that can help support you and your child with specific issues related to ADHD!

 

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Source(s): childmind.org, ct.counseling.org, healthline.com, fastbrain.com, verywellfamily.com

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New School Year, New Worries?

It’s normal for children to experience worries and fears that are typical for their age. We all worry at times. However, when a child’s fears and worries begin to interfere with their daily functioning, it is likely ithat they are experiencing anxiety. Yes, children can have anxiety. In fact, anxiety is one of the most common mental health struggles among children and teenagers. During this time of year, anxiety is especially prevalent in children, as they head back to school and trade the carefreeness of summer for more structure and responsibility. Being aware of childhood anxiety and what it can look like is important for early detection and treatment. In light of this, does this new school year have your child experiencing new worries? What if my child isn’t talking about their feelings? Read on so you can help interpret changes in their routines or behaviors that will help give you clues as to what they may be feeling.

How do I know if my child is experiencing anxiety?

Here are some signs to look out for:

• Consistent worrying that will not go away and does not seem to match what they’re actually experiencing. 
• Trouble Sleeping
• Changes in appetite 
• Physical symptoms, such as fatigue, headaches, stomach aches, muscle aches, or increased heart rate 
• Avoidance of certain situations or things that kids typically enjoy, such as playing with others or going to school
• Difficulty concentrating on schoolwork or other tasks
• Disruptive behavior, angry outbursts, or irritability, which may result from feeling overwhelmed by uncomfortable feelings. 
• Clinginess, or difficulty separating from parents or caregivers 
• Being too hard on themselves 

As previously mentioned, the start of the school year can be especially challenging for children with anxiety. Most kids will experience feelings of nervousness as they transition back to school with a new classroom and teacher. These feelings are typical and will likely go away once the school year gets going and kids adjust. However, for some children, these feelings may continue beyond the first few weeks of school. This is an indicator of anxiety. Children with anxiety will struggle with excessive worry about everyday things. During the school year, these may be things like academic performance, being away from parents and caregivers, or socializing with other students. Excessive worrying about school can begin to interfere with a child’s everyday functioning and well-being.

How can I help my child with school anxiety?

Helping your child deal with school year anxiety requires a supportive and understanding approach. Here are some tips that can make a significant difference:

1. Open Communication: Encourage your child to share their feelings about school openly. Create a safe space where they can express their worries and concerns without fear of judgment.
2. Validate Emotions: Let your child know that it’s okay to feel anxious or nervous about school. Validate their emotions by acknowledging their feelings and showing empathy.
3. Establish a Routine: Predictability can help reduce anxiety. Establish a consistent daily routine for mornings, evenings, and homework. Knowing what to expect can provide a sense of security.
4. Encourage Positive Thinking: Teach your child to challenge negative thoughts and replace them with more positive and realistic ones. Help them focus on their strengths and past successes.
5. Set Realistic Goals: Work with your child to set achievable goals for the school year. Break larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps to reduce overwhelm.
6. Practice Relaxation Techniques: Teaching relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, visualization, or mindfulness exercises. These techniques can help calm anxious thoughts and promote relaxation.
7. Promote Healthy Habits: Ensure your child gets enough sleep, eats nutritious meals, and engages in physical activity. A healthy body supports a healthy mind and can reduce stress.
8. Stay Involved: Stay connected with your child’s school activities and teachers. Being informed can alleviate some of your child’s worries and help you address any concerns promptly.
9. Encourage Social Connections: Help your child build friendships and connections with peers. Positive social interactions can boost confidence and reduce feelings of isolation.

In conclusion, if your child’s anxiety persists or significantly impacts their daily life consider seeking guidance from a school counselor or mental health professional. Receiving help from a  mental health professional is also a proactive step to help stave off anxiety that can escalate if left untreated. Cognitive behavioral therapy and play therapy are effective ways for your child to learn how to cope with their anxiety in healthy ways and are steps your therapist will take to support your child to learn about their emotions and how to cope with them.  We offer both of these options at Miracles Counseling Centers. We will help your child manage anxiety once the school year is underway. Call us at 704-664-1009 or contact us here.

Source(s): cdc.gov, childmind.org, health.harvard.edu, hopkinsmedicine.org

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What to know about EMDR Therapy

 All you need to know about EMDR therapy

EMDR…Have you heard that acronym yet? Maybe a friend is using it with their therapist. Or maybe you have seen TV show therapists (Grey’s Anatomy or Criminal Minds) talk about its use and perform EMDR.  Don’t forget, what you see on TV rarely is done in reality! For counseling professionals, this tool is becoming preferred due to ground breaking research on the intersection of neuroscience and psychology. Have I peaked your curiosity yet? Read on to learn more and see if EMDR could be for you.

Can EMDR help with my symptoms?

Yes! Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a therapy tool developed in 1987 by Francine Shapiro, PhD. EMDR has quickly become the preferred treatment approach for individuals struggling issues that stem from traumatic life events. Importantly, understand that the term ‘trauma’ can be used, and there is a common misunderstanding that has to mean something exceedingly terrible. We all experience life uniquely.  A traumatic impact is to be personally defined by the individual’s experience. What makes EMDR so beneficial is that it focuses on the person’s individual experience. This is important, because this is how the brain assimilated that experience internally. This internalization of the experience is where trauma is formed.

Who is EMDR effective for?

Because of this, EMDR is a exceptional tool for many issues beyond post traumatic symptoms. EMDR is used to support treatment of addictions, depressive disorders, anxiety and panic disorders, phobias, complex grief reactions, individuals with chronic physical health issues, and much more. In fact, EMDR can also be used in treating these same issues in children. All people can experience great gains from working with a therapist who uses EMDR!

Science behind EMDR

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is an interactive psychotherapy technique. It is a very focused approach for treating trauma and other symptoms. EMDR reconnects the client in a safe and measured way to the images, self-thoughts, emotions, and body sensations associated with the trauma, and allows the natural healing powers of the brain to move toward adaptive resolution. It is based on the idea that traumatic experiences have overwhelmed the brain’s natural coping capacity, and that the healing process can be facilitated through eye movements. These eye movements are called bilateral stimulation. Bilateral stimulation helps the brain to reassimilate an understanding of those past events in the context of the present, safe environment of the therapist’s office.  Therefore, simultaneously allowing the strengths the client now possesses to help support the mind’s understanding of the current stance of the self.

EMDR is used in conjunction with typical talk therapy modalities, and so you will still have an opportunity to develop a relationship and explore additional aspects of your life as needed.

How will I benefit from EMDR?

Can this help me? Absolutely! EMDR has been the most studied psychological treatment tool in the last 30 years. Study after study show the majority of people who initially present with symptoms of depression or anxiety, PTSD symptoms, and dissociative issues all demonstrate improvement through their work using EMDR. For a comprehensive list of clinical trials and meta analysis studies on the efficacy of EMDR, follow this link.  https://www.emdr.com/research-overview/

The length of time for an individual to experience positive results depends on the presenting issue and the complexity of the trauma. What’s. more, therapists can adapt treatment focus if it is necessary for you to keep your services brief. For complex trauma issues this is not advisable and you may want to engage into a different therapeutic modality. It would be important for you to address this issue with your therapist. Lastly, EMDR can still be used within the standard clinical hour.

Who can provide EMDR therapy?

In conclusion, now that you know more you might be intrigued enough to want to explore EMDR further with a therapist. Ensuring you are matching yourself with a therapist who has the training and experience in correctly using this modality is important. Here are a few things that you can ask to fully understand your therapist’s competence in providing EMDR therapy:

–What organization sponsored your training in EMDR?

*EMDR clinicians who receive training from EMDRIA are taught comprehensively in the EMDR protocol.

–Are you certified in EMDR?

*Certified EMDR therapists have spent additional supervision hours post initial training under the consultation with a Certified Consultant to enhance their knowledge and skill base.

-How often and when do you use EMDR in your clinical practice?

*This will help you to inform you of their experience and application in using EMDR with clients.

There is much information to absorb here. Do you want to learn more? Take a moment and watch this youtube video created by EMDRIA for additional information. Many of our therapists are trained in EMDR and will work with you in your journey towards wellness.  Please visit our clinician’s page to find a provider that can serve you!

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