The Benefit of Self Compassion in Anxiety
How self-compassion assists in overcoming anxiety
Anxiety is one of the most common emotional experiences in the United States right now. We want you to know that it is ok to sometimes be anxious. If anxiety is starting to creep into all parts of your life, we are here for that too! When you have anxiety issues, our anxious emotions tend to create fear, worries, and overwhelm. Additionally, these feelings can fill all parts of our life including our relationships, work performance, and overall health. Also, it should not go unnoticed that anxiety struggles can also create a secondary experience of deep inner criticism. This criticism comes out in many ways. One of the most common is that this inner criticism can come out as inaccurate beliefs that you ‘should’ be a lot of things. “I should be strong.” “I should be able to handle this by now.” “I should be more like others.”
Inner Criticism will increase your Anxiety
If you have been in therapy, you have probably heard from your therapist that allowing inner thoughts that lead with the ‘should’ word will cause increased emotional distress. This is true! ‘Shoulding’ ourselves causes self criticism and low self esteem. Today, we want to encourage you to begin applying self-compassion as one of your approaches to helping yourself manage anxious emotions.
Using self compassion helps to move away from feeling shame in our emotions. This approach actually works very well when you are managing anxiousness. Rather than the internal criticism, it allows emotional space to consider how to best approach the emotion. There are a number of benefits to using self compassion, especially when living with anxiety. Here are a few….
Why self-compassion helps with anxiety
Improves emotional regulation
Self-compassion can help people be more aware of their emotions and regulate them. This works because compassion depersonalizes the anxiety allowing for you to apply skills to “work” on your anxiety.
Increases Confidence
Once you are able to be compassionate to yourself with your anxiousness, another change comes. You are no longer blaming your entire self for being anxious and thus allowing confident feelings to be recognized in other parts of who you are.
Reduces shame and guilt
Self-compassion teaches us acceptance in our entire selves. Not to mention, once you learn how to lean into self compassion, you will naturally feel less shame and guilt.
Tips on how to practice self-compassion
Be kind to yourself
Validate your emotions and offer yourself patience. When struggling, talk to yourself as if you were talking to a close friend or family member. Do not minimize or belittle yourself when you are struggling with a feeling or emotion in your day.
Practice mindfulness
This skill helps us to slow down the rapid fire of thoughts and adjust if they are unhealthy. Focus on your breathing and gently acknowledge anxious thoughts. Daily mindfulness practice is shown to increase emotional wellness.
Treat yourself well
Are you giving yourself time to rest and recover? Or possibly you may need an activity that is soothing to your body. Take a bath, go dancing, stretch for 30 minutes, or listen to music.
Practice Daily Affirmations
Remind yourself of the things you are appreciating of yourself. What ways have you made yourself proud? What things have you accomplished, big or small, that pleases you. Remember that you’re capable of changing how you feel and that your self-worth comes from within!
Self-Compassion is an Antidote to Anxious Moments
Above all else, remember that your care and love of yourself helps to extinguish the powerful hold anxious emotions can have on you. Your therapist will work with you on additional strategies as well, but these are tips and tricks that you yourself can use every day to support your emotions that much more!
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7 signs of anxiety in your life
7 signs of an anxiety disorder that suggest you should visit a professional counselor.
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Scroll Less, Live More: Break Free From The “Doom Scrolling” Cycle
In today’s hyper-connected world, it’s increasingly difficult to avoid negative news. Whether it’s catastrophic events, political conflict, or global crises, our access to information is both vast and immediate. Whenever a significant event occurs, coverage on the event can be available within minutes. Not only are headlines and articlesavailable, but the photos and videos from multiple perspectives will be posted over social media. The overload of news coverage means that we’re glued to our screens, unable to break free. This exposure can have an unintended impact on our mental health, even when we know it’s not good for us. To be informed and aware is valuable, but are there potential negative effects of being so tuned in?
What Is Doom Scrolling?
Doom scrolling, a term coined by Gen Z individuals on TikTok, refers to the habitual, and in some cases compulsive, overconsumption of news headlines and negative events on social media and other websites. This scrolling has become an unfortunate part of modern life, contributing to rising levels of anxiety, stress, and even depression. Doom scrolling applies to anyone who habitually consumes an overwhelming amount of distressing news online.
Depending on the age group, the type of online exposure to these events varies. A Gen Z individual on TikTok may have seen video about a negative current event that has a humorous spin. Millennials may have seen people on Facebook linking an article alongside their commentary on the event. Older generations may have seen coverage of the event on mainstream media news stations. Despite the different methods of delivery, each generation is undoubtedly overexposed to current events.
Why Is It So Harmful?
With this phenomenon, potential negative effects can materialize. In psychology, there is a pattern of negative thinking called rumination. Rumination refers to repetitive thinking or dwelling on a negative thought that is difficult to escape. With the overexposure to negative events that occur, individuals may find themselves in one of these negative thought cycles that lead to anxiety and/or depression. Hearing tragic news stories or stressful situations occurring within the world can greatly impact an individual’s stress level and can lead to these ruminations. Additionally, elevated stress levels can exacerbate existing struggles with anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns.
In 2021, researchers from the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health conducted a study investigating the relationship between compulsive “doom scrolling” and negative mental health concerns. The researchers found that there was a significant increase in self-reported mental health concerns in individuals who reported the compulsive search for news. Additionally, researchers from the Journal of Psychological Trauma Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy found that many young individuals engaging in these behaviors exhibited significant symptoms of depression and even posttraumatic stress disorder simply from seeing online material surrounding these negative events even if they were not directly exposed.
How Can We Break Free from Doom Scrolling?
Our brains crave new information whether it is positive or negative. How do we break free from this cycle? Here are some potential actions that can be beneficial:
- Set time limits: Use apps or features on your phone to limit social media or news consumption. Both iPhone and Android devices have the capability of setting limits on specific apps. With Google Chrome, there are extensions on the Chrome Web Store to accomplish the same goal.
- Create digital boundaries: Designate times during the day to check news or social media and avoid mindless scrolling. Schedule half an hour every day to look at current events, and then do not allow yourself to engage in consuming news outside of that specific window.
- Engage in other activities: Replace scrolling with hobbies, exercise, or spending quality time with loved ones. Although social media seems to promote a sense of “connectedness”, it can also lead to perceived feelings of isolation. Go connect with others!
- Practice mindfulness: Focus on being present in the moment, and engage in mindfulness techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or journaling. Connect with nature and allow your brain to escape present concerns.
- Set Filters: Many social media apps such as Reddit, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and others allow you to filter out posts and media containing specific phrases. For example, if the presidential election was a source of stress for you, you could filter out any posts containing the word “president”.
- Seek Professional Help: If you find yourself incapable of escaping this cycle on your own, reach out to a licensed professional for assistance.
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What Makes Art Therapy Unique
What is Art Therapy
Written by: Brandy Prabucki, LCMHC, ATR
Art Therapy is using art as a means of self-expression, self-exploration, processing, and healing. Art Therapists are trained at a Masters level and have had education in art therapy theories, assessment, techniques and application. Many people think that art therapy is for only children and adolescents but anyone can participate in art therapy. Many people who engage in art therapy they find that it helps them express emotions deeper than words can reach.
I’m not a good artist, can I even benefit?
Here’s a little secret, you do not need to have any artistic ability to participate in art therapy. In fact, art therapy isn’t about creating a beautiful piece of art. It’s about the process of making art and what your art means to you. It can be expressive in nature, meaning you have freedom to use supplies and mediums as you choose. Alternatively, it can be a specific art directive. Art Therapists use their own creativity to choose the approach that can help their clients with where they are in their journey.
Why does art help work through our emotions?
Some may wonder how does art actually help our emotions? For instance, it can help decrease anxiety related to being in a therapy session. Have you spent time just to doodle or color a pre-patterned picture? Have you ever noticed how it feels to color something that is pre patterned? Did you notice how you felt? Did it help you relax? Slow your mind down? It has been shown in research to lower cortisol levels. So if you are feeling particularly stressed one day, color something pre-patterned, such as a mandala or coloring book (another secret, they make adult coloring books!) and see how you feel.
I have personally seen how art therapy can help build clients self esteem. It helps them understand and express themselves in a more clear way. An example of a directive I like to use with my clients is to create a collage card. They start by looking through magazines for words or images that represent who they are and what they enjoy in life. Then we process the collage they created. When you compare this to traditional talk therapy, and someone is asked to share about themselves, it can be an overwhelming question. Art expression gives people the opportunity to share so much more, and to share things they maybe wouldn’t have thought to share verbally.
Art opens accessibility to our emotional world
As you can see with this example, Art therapy can remove some of the barriers in therapy. Children are much more free in their art expression and use drawing as a form of communication. I use some assessments with children to help me understand their internal world a little better. One directive I use with younger clients is to draw a picture of themselves and their family doing something together. This type of assessment helps me see who they are possibly closest to in their families, which they could depict by who they draw themselves next too. They may draw the parent they think is in charge much larger than the other parent to depict the power they have in the family. Their size can also show how they feel in their family unit. There is some speculative interpretation that an art therapist is trained in, but there is also the processing of the art which helps the art therapist understand if those interpretations are accurate. An art therapist understands this by asking reflective questions about the image their client made. This is just a small example of how I use art in therapy.
How can I get started in Art Therapy?
It is important to note that when looking to do Art Therapy you find someone who is a Registered Art Therapist or Board Certified Art Therapist. These are the only clinicians who can call themselves Art Therapists. They have the required graduate level education and post-graduate training required by the Art Therapy Credentials Board (ATCB). The American Art Therapy Association is also a great resource to learn more about Art Therapy.
Art therapy can be a great addition to traditional talk therapy. As a licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and a Registered Art Therapist I give my clients the option to participate in Art Therapy. Some people feel they have no artistic ability so it wouldn’t be beneficial to them. If you are thinking about trying art therapy, I want to invite you to take a risk. We don’t know how beneficial something can be until we try it.
I hope this article has provided information about what art therapy is and how it can be beneficial for people seeking therapy or additional types of therapy. Art Therapy is my passion, my love for art was combined with my interest in psychology and I have seen how beneficial it can be for people. If you have any interest in learning more or beginning Art Therapy please reach out to Miracles Counseling Centers, or to myself, Brandy Prabucki, LCMHC. I look forward to meeting you.
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What is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?
Understanding OCD: A Brief Tutorial About the Body’s Faulty Warning System
Written by: Sarah Groff, LCMHCS, PhD
When many people think of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), they often picture someone like Jack Nicholson’s character in the opening scenes of As Good as It Gets. He is repeatedly washing his hands with scalding water and multiple bars of soap. Although this represents one type of OCD (contamination type), it is certainly not the only presentation of this condition. Nor is it simply about someone being a “germaphobe” or a “clean freak.”
While our culture often throws around the term OCD to refer to someone who likes a clean home or workspace or who is particularly organized or planful, the term is far more extensive than this. In this article I will provide a brief description of OCD and some of its many presentations. We will also give an explanation for why the body responds this way to certain situations. I will conclude with a few suggestions for coping skills and treatment.
What is OCD?
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5-TR), OCD is a disorder in which both obsessions and compulsions are present. The obsessions are persistent anxious or intrusive thoughts. The individual tries to alleviate this by engaging in various types of compulsions designed to reduce the distress associated with these fears.
Examples of obsessions include fear of harm (to oneself or another), contamination, or things being uniform (otherwise known as symmetry). Examples of compulsions include, but are not limited to, hand washing, double checking, looping thoughts, assurance seeking, avoidance, praying, or counting. To be diagnosed with OCD, these symptoms must not only be present, but must also cause substantial distress and be significantly time consuming. They also cannot be explained by some other medical or mental health condition.
Types of OCD
This list is not meant to be an exhaustive one of OCD presentations; however, these are some of the more common types:
- Harm OCD (Extreme fear of harming oneself or harming another individual. Individuals may fear they are suicidal even when they are not or that they will harm someone else even though they have no ill will toward another person.)
- Sexual Orientation OCD (Obsessions about one’s sexuality)
- Pedophilia OCD (to be differentiated from pedophilia) (This type of OCD can be particularly distressing to individuals because their obsessions do not reflect their desires.)
- Relationship OCD (Inability to tolerate uncertainty of intimate relationships, which leads to incessant questioning of the “rightness” of the relationship.)
- “Just Right” OCD (Not necessarily a specific fear, but rather a sense that something “just isn’t right” when not done a certain way.)
- Contamination OCD (Fear of getting sick or coming into contact with germs)
- Pure-O OCD (This type is somewhat debated, but is used to describe those individuals who do not exhibit visible compulsions; however, compulsions are still present, such as looping or ruminating thoughts.)
- Scrupulosity/Religious OCD (Obsessions about violating moral, ethical, or religious beliefs)
The Brain’s Faulty Warning System
Oftentimes, OCD is referred to as the brain’s faulty warning system because it perceives a threat when there is none. Although anxie
ty and OCD can be precipitated by an actual event, such as a car accident, this is not always the case. More often than not, the obsessive thoughts are an endless stream of “what if” scenarios that never happen. Biologically, the body is designed to keep us safe and it will go to great lengths to do so. In the brain of someone with OCD, it will engage in a cycle of obsessions and compulsions as a way of maintaining hypervigilance, believing this is what keeps the body safe. The unconscious rationale is that “As long as I continue to think about this thing and keep it at the forefront of my mind, then I won’t let my guard down and be hurt.” Because these thoughts are so distressing, however, the body also engages in compulsive behaviors to temporarily alleviate the stress, worry, and fear that come with them.
The driver of this whole process is UNCERTAINTY. If the body detects uncertainty, whether false or actual, it will kick the cycle into gear. As mentioned above, for the person struggling with OCD, this can be an extremely debilitating process. The key to OCD recovery is breaking the obsessive-compulsive cycle and going to solution.
Treatment for OCD
There are a variety of effective approaches to treating OCD, including medication, which is necessary for many individuals. With appropriate medication and therapeutic interventions relief can be found. Those interventions include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). The primary goal in my work with clients who struggle with OCD is to teach them why their body is responding the way it is, to recognize intrusive thoughts as they arise, and to learn to reassure themselves that they are safe. This involves a client thanking the body for keeping him/her safe and then identifying solutions to do this without the “help” of OCD.
If you or someone who know is struggling with OCD, therapy is an excellent tool for recovery. Please feel free to reach out to our office to schedule a session with one of our many trained and compassionate providers.
Sarah Groff, LCMHCS, PhD is a counselor with Miracles Counseling Centers, Mooresville. She is experienced in supporting blended family systems, and a wide variety of issues. These include grief and loss, marriage, divorce, blended families, infertility, parenting, adoption and foster care, depression, anxiety, and work-related stress. She is a passionate advocate in the field of mental health, and a compassionate, insightful support to her clients.
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Why is Depression so hard to recognize?
According to Gallup, 29% of American adults have been diagnosed with depression in their lifetime (up 8% since 2018). Depression has likely been present in humans since the beginning, however the prevalence of depression has been on the rise in recent history likely due to destigmatization, the emergence of new studies, and increased access to resources such as therapy and other mental health providers. Although the numbers surrounding depression have become more clear, there is still a large population of people that are experiencing depressive symptoms that are unaware that depression is what they are experiencing due to its deceptive nature. This is why depression is so hard to recognize.
But we all get sad sometimes, right?
One of the most deceptive aspects of depression is its talent for manifesting as seemingly ordinary emotions or experiences. It is normal to have feelings of sadness, fatigue, disinterest, and overall lack of enjoyment in things that you previously did. It is easy to dismiss them as fleeting moods or momentary setbacks. However, if you are noticing these emotions persist for an extended period and begin to interfere with your daily life, they may be indicative of a deeper issue. Because of the long term persistance of these symptoms, it is easy to not realize the depth of impact they are holding over you.
Additionally, despite significant strides in mental health awareness, stigma is still a present force that holds people back from opening up discussions about their mental health.. Many individuals hesitate to acknowledge their struggles due to fear of judgment or perceived weakness. This reluctance to confront the issue head-on can perpetuate a cycle of denial, making it even harder to seek help. Realizations in life are often found in conversations with others, and stigma makes it difficult for some to initiate conversations surrounding mental health.
The Mask of Emotional Numbness
Depression has a way of numbing the senses, dulling the ability to experience emotions fully. This emotional numbness can make it challenging to recognize and articulate feelings of despair or hopelessness, as the capacity for self-awareness becomes clouded by a sense of apathy.
Depression Coping Mechanisms
In an attempt to cope with internal turmoil, you could be grappling with depression in order to develop coping mechanisms that serve as protective shields. Whether it’s putting on a brave face in social situations or burying oneself in work to distract from inner turmoil, these coping strategies can create an illusion of normalcy, further obscuring the reality of depression and preventing those around them from noticing changes in appearance or behavior.
Furthermore, societal and cultural norms and expectations have significantly impacted our awareness of how depression is experienced. Men are often taught as young boys not to cry otherwise they are being “babies” or are weak. In East Asian cultures, depression is experienced in more somatic presentation such as body aches or fatigue, while in Latin American cultures depression might be expressed through symptoms of “nervios” (nervousness) or “ataques de nervios” (attacks of nerves), which include a mix of emotional and physical symptoms such as trembling, crying, and chest pain. How we learn and identify depression varies from family to family, and culture to culture.
The Vicious Cycle of Self-Doubt
Depression often breeds self-doubt, whispering mistruths about one’s worth and capabilities. This internal dialogue can distort perceptions of reality, leading individuals to question the validity of their emotions and downplay the severity of their struggles to both themselves and others. In the absence of external validation and opinion, it becomes increasingly difficult to trust one’s own judgment and acknowledge the presence of depression.
Depression Varies Based on Age
Identifying child and adolescent depression is difficult because the symptoms vary from those in adults. Unlike the classically depressed adult, who reports low energy sadness, and hypersomnia or insomnia, a depressed adolescent is more likely to manifest a decreased interest in formerly pleasurable activities and irritability A practitioner looking for the lethargic, weepy, and expressively depressed patient may be misled by the irritable adolescent.
Self-destructiveness is also a classic marker for depression in youth. Many studies have found that psychiatric disorders in adolescents, especially major depression, make high-risk sexual behaviors and substance abuse more likely.
The Importance of Seeking Support
You can break free from the grip of depression beginning with acknowledging its presence and reaching out for support. Whether through therapy, medication, or the support of loved ones, there are various avenues for healing and recovery. However, this journey can only commence once the veil of denial is lifted and the truth of one’s condition is confronted with courage and honesty.
In conclusion, the confusing aspects of depression lie in its ability to hide itself, making it hard for individuals to recognize the signs within themselves. By shedding light on this phenomenon and fostering open dialogue about mental health, we can work towards dismantling the barriers that prevent people from seeking the help they need. Remember, you are not alone, and there is hope and support available to guide you through difficult times towards a brighter tomorrow.
Therapists at Miracles Counseling Centers are very skilled in helping you to recover from depression. Please reach out to us to set up an appointment if you need guidance and support in this process.
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How to manage a setback in healing your trauma
How to manage a setback in healing trauma
Many of our therapists are trauma treatment specialists, and one thing that is often seen are set backs in the healing process. These moments can stem from a recent personal crisis or upheaval of one’s life routine. In short, when this occurs it can feel like your entire world is falling apart again. What is critical is to remember that setbacks are normal and can actually be a part of the healing experience. Give yourself a little grace and continued hopeful effort, you will see yourself finding yourself on the healing journey again. As Brene Brown has stated, allowing ourselves to experience vulnerability is not only brave but also allows space for deeper authenticity with ourselves.
Steps to Start Healing Again
Allow yourself to feel it.
In any setback of life, it is important to feel and acknowledge the emotions that come with it. Thus, disappointment, shame, anger, and confusion are common emotions to have when you find yourself falling backwards from progress. In fact, while some of the emotional experiences you may be having are similar to what you went through in the past, they may provide you with useful information on what areas of yourself may need further attention. Give yourself some grace in having these emotions, and share your observations with your therapist.
Reflect & Begin Again
Spending time reflecting to understanding how the circumstances of this event may help you to recognize patterns or poor boundaries that you may need to examine and reset your life. First, try being curious and open to observing the situation without preexisting assumptions. Second, build new insights with this information. This new level of self awareness can be powerful and jumpstart your again on a healthy, healing path.
Connect with Supports
Healing from a trauma requires support in all forms. Friends, family, or professional counselors give you the opportunity to receive comfort and validation in your healing journey. Sharing your struggles and seeking support is a strength, not a weakness. Ultimately, speaking with these confidants can provide you with new awareness, compassion, and encouragement during a difficult time.
Decide on changes for a better future
In this setback, you may find out learning new coping skills is just what you need to manage similar situations in the future. Perhaps being more consistent in your mindfulness practices is exactly what you need, or letting go of unhealthy, toxic people in your life will give you future safety. This setback can reinvigorate your commitment
to your wellness practices, and boundaries in your life!
A time for Self-Compassion & Recognition
In this moment, it is important to practice self compassion and frame your inner voice in a compassionate, encouraging way. It is normal to struggle at times in life and your inner voice should not be shaming or criticizing yourself right now. Recognize the gains you have made in your life up to this point. This will help you to foster a positive growth mindset and continue to acknowledge to yourself that healing is an ongoing process with its own sets of ups and down.
The healing journey can be a winding road of ups and downs. With supportive outlets and commitment to healing you will find your way beyond the past and into your future. Continue the journey with one of our skilled clinicians, you can find a well matching therapist for you by visiting our clinicians page.
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Learning to Identify Your Emotions: A Path to Emotional Recovery
Learning to Idenfity your Emotions
Oftentimes in my work with clients, it becomes apparent that someone does not possess adequate language for their emotions. Sometimes this is the result of growing up in a home where emotions functioned more as skeletons in the closet or as dust under the rug. Other times, it develops from painful lessons in emotional danger, where vulnerability came at a cost and emotions were minimized, ridiculed, or even used as fodder for abuse. There is also a category of individuals whose emotional maturity is lacking. This can be due the cultural idea that expressing emotion is the equivalent of being a drama queen (or king) and they work hard to curate their emotions into socially acceptable displays. In each of these instances, the capacity for appropriate and healthy emotional expression is limited.
Beginning the Path to Emotional Recovery
Before I can teach a client language for their emotions, we must first address where their conceptualization of emotions comes from and how this shapes their current comfort level with emotional expression. For example, if a client grew up with a parent whose expression of anger was generally one that was out of control, loud, full of profanity, demeaning, scary, and so forth, then allowing him/herself to feel and express anger as an adult can be extremely challenging. These individuals often perceive other people’s anger as being unsafe, as well, and project their past experiences of anger onto whatever relationship they find themselves in. While anger can certainly be expressed inappropriately, it also points to something important: It shows us what we care about. In fact, there are times when anger is appropriate and needs to be expressed before a client can move forward in their healing process. Creating a safe space for clients to explore their anger and learn that it can be expressed in a healthy, safe way is a primary goal of therapy for these individuals. As with many emotions, the crime is not in feeling anger, but monitoring how it is expressed is essential. Addressing these associations of emotion is critical to the recovery process.
Developing a Language for Your Emotions
Once a client better understands where and how his/her emotional literacy was shaped, they can begin to learn the language for their emotions. Without language to describe what we are feeling, it is very difficult to take ownership of these emotions, to process them, and to learn healthier ways of emotional regulation and expression. It is also difficult to understand why we are feeling a certain way if we do not possess the words to describe these feelings. Additionally, a lack of emotional language inhibits our ability to form meaningful connection and intimacy with others. With children and youth who are struggling to identify their emotions, I often show them the emojis on my phone and ask them to point to one that best describes how they feel. I then ask them to describe what that picture communicates to them and from there we can have a conversation about what is going on inside.
Tools to help you through this…
A wonderful resource for older teens and adults is Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience by Brené Brown (2021). I like to use this book as a resource, an emotions encyclopedia, if you will. Brown has done a phenomenal job of categorizing emotions into families and helping us to better understand which emotions are connected and how, as well as teaching us more specific language for describing what we feel. For instance, did you know that resentment is part of the envy family? Did you also know it is possible (and very normal) to feel multiple emotions at once, even if they seem to be conflicting? Several years ago, I worked with a client who told me each session that she was exhausted. While this statement was not untrue (she carried the emotional and physical exhaustion of years of trauma and untreated OCD), I began to challenge her to explore this feeling further, suggesting that she might be feeling something other than exhaustion. As our work unfolded, she learned a whole variety of words to describe more accurately what she was feeling, which, in turn, allowed us to focus on the root of those feelings and achieve greater recovery and healing.
Embracing the Role and Importance of Emotional Experiences
When a client has a better understanding of their emotional development, as well as language to describe what they are feeling, I then help them to understand the role of emotions. At this point in therapy, we work on developing a certain comfort level with these emotions, which includes not judging but normalizing them. I often tell clients that emotions are one of the few equalizers in humanity—no one is exempt from having them and we cannot pretend that we are above feeling certain emotions that seem taboo or bad. In fact, there is no such thing as a “good” or “bad” emotion—they simply are. They are not meant to define us nor to guide our decisions, but to be felt. In therapy, we also practice ways of expressing emotion and releasing them in ways that are safe, healthy, respectful of other people’s boundaries, and provide resolution over time.
If you, a child, or partner is struggling with emotional expression or you find yourself stunted and afraid of letting out your feelings, you may benefit from doing some emotions work with a therapist. While it may seem daunting at first, keep in mind that learning any new skill can be uncomfortable in the beginning. However, with time and appropriate therapeutic support, you can grow this muscle and learn to be present with your emotions, as well as to hold space for others’ emotions.
Sarah Groff, LCMHCS has over 22 years of experience in the mental health field, many of which have specifically focused on adoption, infertility, and working with the entire adoption triad, as well as assisting women with making a parallel plan for adoption and parenting.
Our Inner Voice Impacts to Mental Health
The Inner Voice from within….
We all have an inner voice, one that speaks to us throughout the day and helps to guide many of our decisions and behaviors. Sometimes this voice is kind and at times it is critical. This voice offers sound advice one moment and then tells us we are unworthy the next. For many people, the challenge is learning to decipher the negative self-talk that goes on in their head and to correct it with truth. This can be especially difficult to do, however, when one lacks awareness and has become accustomed to a self-critical and limiting narrative. Fortunately, it is possible to correct this chatterbox and to develop an inner voice that maintains a healthy, well-balanced perspective.
When it comes to self-talk or our inner narrative, it is helpful to think of the tone. When we read literature, for example, the narrator of the story has a certain tone, which may come from a variety of vantage points. Whether told in first- or third-person, the narrator’s voice is one of authority and frames the events and perspectives of the story. Your inner voice has the same role in that it is constantly narrating the events, interactions, and decisions of your daily life. This voice is developed in early childhood and may take many tones throughout the lifespan. For those who grew up in loving, nurturing homes, for instance, the tone of this voice may be patient or flexible. For those who have endured abuse or trauma, on the other hand, this voice may be one of self-doubt and perfectionism.
How to Examine your Inner Voice
There are some helpful questions to ask yourself when first learning to distinguish the tone and vantage point of your inner voice. These include, but are not limited to, the following:
- Is the voice (or self-talk) recurring?
- Is this my voice talking or the voice of someone I know?
- Is this voice building me up or putting me down?
- Is the voice coming from a place of fear or possibility?
- Would I talk to someone I love or care about in this tone?
- Is my narrative balanced or one-sided?
- Is my self-talk based upon experience or “what-if” scenarios?
Take Inner Voice Work One Step Further
Sometimes it is helpful to journal the self-talk you engage in to begin identifying themes and tones. Unfortunately, people are so accustomed to the negative narrative they tell themselves that they have never questioned it. Journaling these thoughts serves as a type of mirror to help build your awareness and to address thoughts that need changing. Talking to a trusted friend or family member can also be helpful so long as this person is someone who can remain relatively objective and provide loving and honest feedback. Finally, working with a therapist can also be instrumental in teaching you to identify thoughts that need adjustment, learn skills of reframing and rewriting your narrative, and develop healthy coping mechanisms to deal with daily stressors, anxiety, and depression.
Choose the Voice that Encourages Growth
Amending your self-talk isn’t just about saying nice things to yourself, although that is certainly part of it. And, it isn’t saying things that are unrealistic, a Pollyana syndrome of sorts. Rather, it is more about choosing the way in which you frame thoughts, behaviors, interactions with others, and life events. It also often includes speaking truths to yourself that you might not yet believe. Truths such as “I am beautiful, capable, a good mom/dad, worthy, loveable, intelligent, empowered,” etc. We can choose to engage in self-talk that fuels the voice of shame in our head or we can recognize that voice, call it out, reframe it, and rewrite the narrative it speaks.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Narrative Therapy are two modalities that help to address the process described in this article. If you would like to learn more about these options please contact us. We look forward to serving you!
Written by Sarah Groff, LCHMC
Sarah has been part of the Miracles Counseling Centers team for over 7 years. She treats adolescents through adults on issues of marriage and divorce, blending families, depression, anxiety, and adjustment to issues specific to teens and young adults. She is presently pursuing her PhD in Developmental Psychology at Liberty University.
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What to know about EMDR Therapy
All you need to know about EMDR therapy
EMDR…Have you heard that acronym yet? Maybe a friend is using it with their therapist. Or maybe you have seen TV show therapists (Grey’s Anatomy or Criminal Minds) talk about its use and perform EMDR. Don’t forget, what you see on TV rarely is done in reality! For counseling professionals, this tool is becoming preferred due to ground breaking research on the intersection of neuroscience and psychology. Have I peaked your curiosity yet? Read on to learn more and see if EMDR could be for you.
Can EMDR help with my symptoms?
Yes! Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a therapy tool developed in 1987 by Francine Shapiro, PhD. EMDR has quickly become the preferred treatment approach for individuals struggling issues that stem from traumatic life events. Importantly, understand that the term ‘trauma’ can be used, and there is a common misunderstanding that has to mean something exceedingly terrible. We all experience life uniquely. A traumatic impact is to be personally defined by the individual’s experience. What makes EMDR so beneficial is that it focuses on the person’s individual experience. This is important, because this is how the brain assimilated that experience internally. This internalization of the experience is where trauma is formed.
Who is EMDR effective for?
Because of this, EMDR is a exceptional tool for many issues beyond post traumatic symptoms. EMDR is used to support treatment of addictions, depressive disorders, anxiety and panic disorders, phobias, complex grief reactions, individuals with chronic physical health issues, and much more. In fact, EMDR can also be used in treating these same issues in children. All people can experience great gains from working with a therapist who uses EMDR!
Science behind EMDR
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is an interactive psychotherapy technique. It is a very focused approach for treating trauma and other symptoms. EMDR reconnects the client in a safe and measured way to the images, self-thoughts, emotions, and body sensations associated with the trauma, and allows the natural healing powers of the brain to move toward adaptive resolution. It is based on the idea that traumatic experiences have overwhelmed the brain’s natural coping capacity, and that the healing process can be facilitated through eye movements. These eye movements are called bilateral stimulation. Bilateral stimulation helps the brain to reassimilate an understanding of those past events in the context of the present, safe environment of the therapist’s office. Therefore, simultaneously allowing the strengths the client now possesses to help support the mind’s understanding of the current stance of the self.
EMDR is used in conjunction with typical talk therapy modalities, and so you will still have an opportunity to develop a relationship and explore additional aspects of your life as needed.
How will I benefit from EMDR?
Can this help me? Absolutely! EMDR has been the most studied psychological treatment tool in the last 30 years. Study after study show the majority of people who initially present with symptoms of depression or anxiety, PTSD symptoms, and dissociative issues all demonstrate improvement through their work using EMDR. For a comprehensive list of clinical trials and meta analysis studies on the efficacy of EMDR, follow this link. https://www.emdr.com/research-overview/
The length of time for an individual to experience positive results depends on the presenting issue and the complexity of the trauma. What’s. more, therapists can adapt treatment focus if it is necessary for you to keep your services brief. For complex trauma issues this is not advisable and you may want to engage into a different therapeutic modality. It would be important for you to address this issue with your therapist. Lastly, EMDR can still be used within the standard clinical hour.
Who can provide EMDR therapy?
In conclusion, now that you know more you might be intrigued enough to want to explore EMDR further with a therapist. Ensuring you are matching yourself with a therapist who has the training and experience in correctly using this modality is important. Here are a few things that you can ask to fully understand your therapist’s competence in providing EMDR therapy:
–What organization sponsored your training in EMDR?
*EMDR clinicians who receive training from EMDRIA are taught comprehensively in the EMDR protocol.
–Are you certified in EMDR?
*Certified EMDR therapists have spent additional supervision hours post initial training under the consultation with a Certified Consultant to enhance their knowledge and skill base.
-How often and when do you use EMDR in your clinical practice?
*This will help you to inform you of their experience and application in using EMDR with clients.
There is much information to absorb here. Do you want to learn more? Take a moment and watch this youtube video created by EMDRIA for additional information. Many of our therapists are trained in EMDR and will work with you in your journey towards wellness. Please visit our clinician’s page to find a provider that can serve you!
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