Helping Children Heal Through Storytelling
Helping Children Heal Through Storytelling
Why narrative work is one of the most powerful tools in child therapy.
Children don’t often come out and say, “I’m struggling with anxiety,” or “I think my self-esteem is low.” Instead, they say things like, “My tummy hurts,” “I don’t want to go,” or may even just start crying.
For many kids, especially those dealing with big feelings, behavior issues, sensory overload, or experiences they don’t fully understand yet, words don’t flow easily. But stories? Stories meet them exactly where they are.
Storytelling serves as a gentle, trauma-informed, creativity-based technique to help children process emotions, rebuild confidence, and develop healthier coping skills.
Let’s take a look at how storytelling works, why it’s so effective, and how parents can use the same strategies at home.
Why Storytelling Works for the Developing Brain
Kids naturally think in images, metaphors, characters, and pretend play. Their brains are wired for narratives. Ultimately, when therapists introduce stories, they’re doing more than entertaining, they’re helping a child translate emotional experiences into something their mind can understand and safely explore.
Storytelling helps children:
- Name emotions they couldn’t identify before
- Build emotional regulation skills
- Understand cause and effect
- Increase confidence and self-esteem
- Feel empowered rather than ashamed or “bad”
- Create a sense of meaning and coherence
- Strengthen communication skills
For children healing from anxiety, bullying, grief, family changes, trauma, or simply trying to navigate everyday stress, the story becomes a safe container. Basically, it gives shape to something that once felt overwhelming.
1. Using Characters as Emotional Mirrors
One of the most powerful techniques therapists use is creating or choosing characters who represent what the child is experiencing.
A child who feels angry might meet “The Volcano Dragon.”
Children with separation anxiety might hear a story about “The Little Panda Who Found Brave.”
The child who struggles with perfectionism might learn from “The Paintbrush Who Made Mistakes.”
These characters do two things at once…one, they validate the child’s inner world “Someone else feels this way too” and two they create emotional distance, a sense of “This isn’t about me, it’s about the character”. That small amount of distance is crucial. It lets kids talk openly without the pressure of direct self-disclosure.
2. Rewriting the Story to Build Coping Skills
Once the child connects with the character, therapists invite them to help “rewrite” the character’s story.
The character might learn:
- Breathing techniques “The dragon cooled his fire with slow belly breaths”
- Mindfulness tools “Koala pressed her hand to her heart when she felt scared”
- Problem-solving skills “The brave paintbrush asked a friend for help”
- Anger management strategies “The volcano found a safe place to let steam out”
- Healthy communication “The turtle learned to use his words instead of hiding in his shell”
In therapeutic language, this is called externalization shifting, where we shift from “I am the problem” to “I am someone learning skills.” For kids who struggle with meltdowns, shutdowns, anxiety, aggression, or impulse control, this small shift can be life-changing.
If we’re being honest story telling adds the “now you’re speaking my language” component to child therapy.
3. Giving Children the Role of Hero, Helper, or Wise Guide
Therapists often allow the child to take an empowered role in the storytelling process. The child becomes:
- The hero who helps the character
- The guide who offers wisdom
- The friend who understands
- The protector who keeps others safe
This is especially powerful for children who have felt helpless, scared, or overwhelmed. By helping the character, they are indirectly learning how to help themselves.
This step restores control, competence, and confidence.
4. Using Storytelling to Process Trauma Safely
For children who have gone through painful experiences, medical procedures, bullying, family conflict, loss, or other trauma… storytelling becomes a gentle entry point. Instead of recounting the event directly (which may be dysregulating or retraumatizing), the child creates a fictional scenario that mirrors the emotional experience.
This gives them a chance to:
- Make sense of what happened
- Release shame
- Explore fears
- See themselves as strong and capable
- Integrate the experience into their story instead of being defined by it
This is trauma-informed narrative work that is respectful, safe, and child-centered.
How Parents Can Use Storytelling at Home
Has reading this felt like “Wow, I can see exactly how that approach would be beneficial for my child.” You don’t have to be a therapist to use storytelling as a healing tool.
Parents can use the same techniques in daily life:
Start with a simple opening:
“Once upon a time, there was a kid who felt …”
Introduce a character who mirrors your child’s struggle:
A turtle with big feelings, a bunny with worry thoughts, a robot who needs recharging.
Give the character strengths and helpers:
Friends, wise guides, or tools that represent coping skills.
End with hope and growth never perfection:
The character doesn’t have to “fix” everything, just grow a little.
This builds safety, curiosity, and trust. Children feel seen without feeling exposed.
We’re here to help…
As you can see, storytelling is more than a creative exercise, it’s a therapeutic bridge. It helps children put language to their emotions, build healthier coping skills, and understand themselves with more compassion.
Whether used in play therapy, child counseling, or simple bedtime conversations at home, stories help children heal by giving them exactly what they need: safety, connection, imagination, and hope. If your child is navigating anxiety, behavioral challenges, low self-esteem, grief, or simply the everyday struggles of growing up, we’re here to help!
One of the greatest strengths is the ability to make meaning of our experiences… and storytelling gives children a safe way to do exactly that.
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Supporting Children after a Shooting
Supporting Children After Witnessing a Public Shooting
A Trauma-Informed Guide for Parents
When a family experiences a terrifying event like a public shooting, even if everyone makes it out physically unharmed, the emotional impact can be profound. Children may struggle to make sense of what they saw and heard, and parents are often left wondering how to help their children feel safe again. The good news is that there are clear, trauma–informed strategies that can guide families through the weeks that follow. Children are resilient, especially when their caregivers know how to support them through fear, confusion, and lingering anxiety.
First, Reestablish Safety
One of the most important things caregivers can do in the immediate aftermath is to re–establish a sense of safety and predictability. After a frightening event, a child’s nervous system can remain stuck in “alert mode,” scanning the environment for danger. Parents can help by offering direct reassurance such as, “We’re home, we’re safe, and the danger is over.” Keeping routines stable—bedtime, meals, school—also helps the body and brain settle. Limiting exposure to news footage, online videos, or an abundance of adult conversations about the incident prevents the child from reliving the trauma indirectly.
As children begin processing the event, they may or may not want to talk about what happened. Parents should allow conversations to unfold naturally rather than pushing for details. When children do speak, caregivers can validate their feelings with simple, calm statements like, “That was scary,” or “It makes sense you feel nervous.” Explanations should be brief, honest, and age-appropriate. Avoid minimizing the experience or offering analytical, probability-based reassurance—children need emotional safety dmore than statistics.
Many parents are surprised by the responses that follow trauma, but most reactions are temporary and normal. Nightmares, difficulty sleeping, clinginess, irritability, and repetitive questions are common as the brain tries to integrate a frightening experience. Children often want to revisit the event repeatedly as a way to understand it. Parents can gently reassure children that these reactions are typical and tend to improve with time. The goal is to normalize without heightening fear—“Your brain is trying to make sense of what happened. These reactions usually get better over time.”
Connection is Key
Connection plays a powerful role in helping children recover. Following a traumatic event, many kids benefit from being physically close to their parents—extra cuddles, staying in the same room at night, or sitting near the caregiver during playtime. This closeness supports co-regulation, where the adult’s calm presence helps soothethe child’s nervous system. Slow breathing together, using sensory grounding objects, and speaking in a steady, gentle tone are small actions that can have a big impact. Children take emotional cues from the adults around them; a regulated parent helps create a regulated child.
In addition to emotional connection, children need a simple, coherent narrative about what happened. A clear story anchors their understanding and reduces confusion. Parents might say, “We heard loud noises that were dangerous. We ran to get safe. The police took care of the situation, and now we’re home and safe.” It can also be empowering to highlight the protective steps everyone took—running away, following directions, staying together, or calling for help. This reinforces a sense of competence and self-trust instead of helplessness.
Practical Steps that Work
Coping tools are another valuable piece of recovery. Children respond well to grounding and sensory activities that settle the body. Naming five things they see, four they can touch, three they can hear, two they can smell, and one they can taste is a highly effective grounding exercise. Deep belly breathing, guided imagery, drawing, or expressive play are all healthy ways for kids to work through feelings that may be difficult to verbalize.
Because nightmares are common in the weeks following trauma, maintaining a predictable and soothing nighttime routine can be helpful. Children may be more likely to share their worries at bedtime. A dim nightlight, a comfort item, or a guided meditation that invites children to imagine “hanging their worries on the worry tree” before bed can help ease the transition to sleep. Some children may need a parent to stay close by until their sense of nighttime safety returns.
As families begin re-engaging with normal life, it’s essential not to force children back into crowded or chaotic environments too quickly. Healing takes time, and each child’s pace may be different. Exposure to triggering environments should be gradual and child-led. Pressuring them to “get over it” can increase fear rather than reduce it.
Recognizing When Help is Needed
While many reactions resolve on their own, parents should remain attentive to signs that additional support may be needed. Seek professional help if you observe:
- Persistent nightmares beyond several weeks
- Growing anxiety or panic symptoms
- Avoidance of school, public areas, or age-appropriate separation
- Significant sleep disruptions or regression
- Aggression, irritability, or emotional withdrawal
- Hypervigilance, such as constant scanning of the environment
These signs may indicate that acute stress is shifting toward PTSD and warrant support from a trauma-trained clinician.
If you observe the symptoms above, professional resources can make a tremendous difference. Therapists trained in TF-CBT, EMDR for children, or play therapy use structured approaches specifically designed to help young people recover from trauma, and Miracles Counseling is proud to offer all of the above. Early intervention can prevent long-term symptoms and support a healthier emotional trajectory.
You too, Deserve Support
Last, but certainly not least, it’s probably the most important thing for parents to care for themselves. Your emotional stability directly influences your child’s recovery.Acknowledge your own fear or distress, seek support from friends or professionals, and allow yourself to process the experience without burdening your child with adult-level worries. Children don’t need perfect parents, but they do need steady ones. When caregivers model healthy coping behaviors, they create the safest possible environment for healing.
Recovering from a traumatic event takes time, but children can and do heal remarkably well when surrounded by calm, supportive, and emotionally attuned caregivers. With patience, connection, and the right tools, families can move forward together with strength and resilience.
Marisa Grimmius, LCMHCA is a trauma informed clinician, trained in EMDR. She is passionate about providing clinical care to our community, especially those who have struggled with distressing experiences. Marisa provides clinical support to adolescents 12 years and up, and adults who have life experiences that have affected them, consequently creating the subsequent symptoms of anxiety, OCD, depression, and interpersonal difficulties. She is highly knowledgeable regarding neurodivergency and autism diagnoses as well. Marisa works out of our Mooresville, NC office and is available for in person as well as telehealth therapy sessions.
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Parenting a Child with Autism : A Helpful Guide
Parenting a child on the autism spectrum can feel like you’re trying to piece together a puzzle with no picture on the box. Parenting can be like that in general, but when you start noticing behaviors in your child that feel different, confusing, or hard to explain, that puzzle can feel even more overwhelming. Every parent has struggled with self doubts and uncertainties on how to move forward in parenting. You’re not alone. Many parents have been right where you are.
Together, we’ll look at what autism is, how it may appear in children, and gentle ways you can support your child—and yourself—along the way.
Parenting a child with Autism is Different
Autism, or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), is a neurodevelopmental difference in how a person communicates, learns, and experiences the world. It’s called a “spectrum” because autism is very different from person to person. Some kids may be highly verbal and academically advanced, while others may have significant communication challenges. The common thread is that their brain processes information in a way that can make social interaction, flexibility, and sensory experiences more challenging. Children on the autism spectrum will need some adjusted parenting approaches given their unique neurodevelopmental needs.
Key Areas Where Children with Autism May Need Support
Every child is unique, but some common areas where kids with autism benefit from extra guidance include:
- Communication & Language – Children with autism may communicate in unique ways. Some might speak later than their peers, use fewer words, or rely on gestures, sounds, or pictures instead of speech. Others may have strong vocabularies but find back-and-forth conversation, tone of voice, or body language harder to understand. Their communication often looks different, but it’s still meaningful—and with support, it can grow and flourish.
- Social Skills – Relationships can be the hardest piece to for a child on the spectrum to manage. Some simple skills such as how to start conversations, share space with peers, or navigate friendships.
- Behavior & Emotional Regulation – Children with autism experience the same range of emotions as their peers, but they may express them in different ways. Support is often needed to help them recognize their feelings and learn healthy ways to share them. Planned strategies for handling transitions, along with reducing overwhelming environmental stimuli, can make a big difference in preventing meltdowns and promoting emotional balance.
- Sensory Support – Due to the ways the brain is wired, offering sensory support can be a key helper in parenting a child who lives with autism. Occupational therapy is another key resource for sensory processing, and can help teach strategies like weighted blankets or tactile resources to help give the brain the input it needs. Other lifestyle adjustments such as noise-canceling headphones, and sensory-friendly environments are often overlooked options that should be a part of a parents tool kit for parenting a child on the spectrum.
- Daily Living Skills – Children with autism often process information, sensory input, and social expectations differently, which can make everyday tasks harder. Skills like hygiene, cooking, organizing, or handling money may not come naturally and need to be taught step by step. Repetition and reinforcement over the long run will help them to be most successful. This is an area where you are making progress even if they do not seem to be grasping it yet. Give it time!
Building Your Child’s Support Team
You are not alone parenting your child with this neurodevelopmental difference. You also should feel comfortable to surround yourself with a team of professionals that can also Think of your child’s care as a team effort, where each specialist brings a different set of tools to help your child grow. Here are some professionals who may become valuable members of your support network:
- Pediatrician or Developmental Pediatrician – Often the first step for evaluation and referrals. A developmental pediatrician specializes in diagnosing and managing developmental differences, including autism.
- Speech-Language Pathologist (SLP) – Supports children with delays in speech, language, or social communication. They can also help introduce alternative communication methods if verbal speech is difficult.
- Occupational Therapist (OT) – Helps with fine motor skills (like handwriting, using utensils), daily living skills (dressing, brushing teeth), and sensory processing challenges.
- Behavioral Therapist (often ABA provider) – Works on understanding behaviors and teaching skills in ways that encourage independence, flexibility, and coping strategies.
- Child Psychologist or Counselor – Provides support for emotional regulation, anxiety, or social skills, and helps parents understand their child’s behaviors.
- Special Education Teachers & School Support Staff – Play a big role in creating and following your child’s Individualized Education Program (IEP), ensuring your child has accommodations to thrive academically and socially.
Let me guess you’re thinking “woah, that’s a lot of people”. Remember, you don’t need all of these specialists at once.
The right mix depends on your child’s unique strengths and challenges.
Last, but most importantly…You
If you’re so focused on your child that your own needs often end up last on the list, we need to change that! The truth is parenting a child with autism can be deeply rewarding, and also emotionally draining. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.
- Find your people. Join parent support groups (online or in person) where you can share stories and resources. There’s comfort in knowing you’re not alone.
- Take breaks when you can. Even short moments, like stepping outside for a breath of fresh air help recharge your nervous system.
- Set realistic expectations. Some days will be messy, and that’s okay. Celebrate progress, not perfection.
- Seek your own support. Therapy, coaching, or counseling can give you space to process the ups and downs of parenting.
Remember, your child benefits most when you feel grounded and supported.
Parenting a child with autism isn’t about striving for perfection; it’s about showing up with patience, consistency, and compassion, even on the hard days. We’ve all heard the phrase “Hurt people hurt people”, we do ourselves and others a disservice when we don’t adhere to our own needs. Making space to rest, recharge, and care for your own emotional well-being is not only vital for you, but it also strengthens your ability to show up as the steady, grounded parent your child needs.
If you’ve made it this far in the article.. Could it be because this topic resonates with you? You are not alone. Consider reaching out to a professional just to get more clarity.
And in the meantime, remind yourself: you don’t have to have it all figured out today.
You’re doing better than you think.
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Helping Your Little One Name Big Feelings
Helping Your “Little One” Name “Big” Feelings
Does your little one ever come to you in tears, without actually saying what’s wrong? Perhaps you sometimes wonder which feeling is behind those tears, is it disappointment, hurt, loneliness? It is completely normal, for children, to use words like “sad” or “mad” when they’re really feeling something deeper. For some, they have no feeling words to describe what they are going through. Children cannot have the language until we teach them. Helping them put names to their emotions is one of the most powerful gifts you can give.
Why Naming Feelings Matters
Emotion naming also known as affect labeling does more than just add words to your child’s vocabulary. It helps them feel a little less overwhelmed. Research shows that labeling an emotion reduces stress, calms the amygdala, and gives kids more control over their feelings.
Additionally, children with a solid emotional vocabulary are healthier socially, less impulsive, and more focused in school. That’s because once kids can say “I feel frustrated,” rather than just “mad,” they also strengthen their ability to regulate their emotions and communicate what they need.
Everyday Ways to Support Your Child
Narrate Your Own Emotions
Try something like: “I feel really excited because I’m playing with you!” or “I’m frustrated because I lost my keys.” When kids hear emotion words multiple times a day in different contexts, it becomes normal for them too.
Use Emotion Charts or Faces
Print or buy a simple feeling wheel or poster, this display shows feelings named and faces that can help children identify what they feel. Imagine standing in front of a chart with your child seeing happy, sad, mad, proud, worried and asking “Which face matches how you feel?” If your child points to the worried one, you might respond, “It looks like you’re feeling worried. Did something happen at school?” This visual cue helps kids connect an internal feeling with a real word.
Play Storybook Emotions
While reading a story, pause and say: “How do you think that character is feeling? Why?” When you say, “She seems proud of finishing her puzzle, have you ever felt proud like that?” your child gets practice identifying and talking about complex feelings.
Act It Out: Charades Style
Turn emotion-naming into a game! Write feelings (like excited, upset, scared) on paper, let your child act one out, and guess together. After guessing, ask, “Have you ever felt that way? When?”
Tune Into the Body
Help children link physical sensations to emotions: “Your shoulders are tight, you might be feeling worried.” Or “Your tummy is all fluttery, could that be excitement?” This body awareness trick helps them label feelings more precisely.
What About Tough Moments?
If your child is having a meltdown your approach in that situation can either escalate and deescalate the situation. Oftentimes as parents it can be easy to jump straight to discipline, resolution, or dismissing feelings as means to salvage control and quiet.
Instead, try this two-step approach:
- Pause and Breathe Together, say something like “Let’s take three deep breaths.” It may take a moment. Be patient. This can take some time as they try to get control of their breathing.
- When things calm down a bit, gently say, “It seems like you felt really frustrated or overwhelmed. Do you want to tell me about it?”
That way, you’re modeling emotional regulation and helping them find the right word in a calmer, safer moment.
The Benefits to Naming Emotions are Many
The major benefit to have a high emotional understand is Stronger resilience. When kids name feelings like “disappointed” or “left out” instead of crying or hitting, they’re better able to manage those feelings next time. Children who have the ability to know their emotions also perform better academically and report great levels of life satisfaction. Other benefits include the following:
- Better friendships: Being able to say “I feel hurt when you don’t share” helps friends understand and respect them.
- Stronger bond with you: The more your child knows you “get” what they’re feeling, the more they’ll come to you with big issues as they grow.
Feelings are our friend! The goal isn’t to avoid feelings, it’s about naming them so we can manage them better. This is the message we want you to hear, allowing your child to reap the benefits! We know you want the best for your child and their future. This is a simple skill that costs nothing and will give them continued positive opportunities!
If you feel your child needs more support in emotional recognition and communication counseling and play therapy may be a great next step. You certainly do not have to do this alone. We have seen amazing growth in children when we work with them on emotional language with the combination of understanding of their body responses. We’re here to help! Visit our Therapist Page to learn more about each provider in our practice, several of who have years of clinical experience ins upporting children and adolescents mental health.
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Kids and Screen Time: Tips for the School Year
Kids and Screen Time: Tips for the School Year
The Digital Dilemma of Parenting
Is your child glued to a screen, even when they should be doing homework or playing outside? Let’s face it, what started out as a simple way for you to keep your kids occupied while you get things done, has turned into their secret obsession with screen time. Screens are now embedded in daily life—used for schoolwork, social interaction, and entertainment. While technology can be educational, excessive screen use has been linked to sleep disturbances, behavioral concerns, and visual strain.
A recent study (Psychological Bulletin, 2025) analyzing data from nearly 300,000 children found a strong correlation between screen overuse—particularly time spent on video games—and increased social and emotional challenges.
When Tech Takes Over the Emotional Impacts are Obvious
Oftentimes, youth are more irritable, distracted, and unfocused when they have had extended periods of screentime. You’re not imagining it. Research shows that too much screen time can overstimulate the brain, leading to difficulties in focus and emotional regulation.
But here’s the good news: you have the power to help your child develop a healthier relationship with screens. It starts with setting clear, consistent limits and encouraging other activities that promote well-being.
Navigating the Detox Phase from Screens
As you begin to set new screen time boundaries, it’s normal for your child to go through an adjustment period often called a “detox” phase. It’ll start out little bumpy at first. Kids will likely be more moody, say they’re bored, or push back against the new rules. This “detox” phase is totally normal it’s just their brain adjusting to less stimulation.
The most important thing during this phase is patience, and to stick with it! Stay calm, be consistent, and offer fun alternatives like playing outside, reading, or doing something creative together. Most kids settle into the new routine within a few days or weeks, and many become more focused, calmer, and even happier.
Just like with any healthy habit, the initial discomfort often gives way to surprising benefits. Many parents find that after a few days or weeks, their children become calmer, more focused, and more engaged with the world around them.
Creating a Healthier Routine
To foster a balanced lifestyle:
- Set Clear Screen Time Limits
Establish daily screen time limits based on your child’s age and needs. For instance, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than one hour per day of recreational screen time for children aged 2 to 5 years. School age children are recommended to keep screen time at a range of 1.5-2 hours
- Create Screen-Free Zones
Designate certain areas of your home, like the dining room or bedrooms, as screen-free zones. This encourages face-to-face interactions and helps establish boundaries between leisure and rest.
- Encourage Physical Activity
Make sure your child has plenty of opportunities for physical activity, whether it’s playing outside, participating in sports, or just taking breaks to move around during screen time.
- Foster Offline Hobbies
Encourage your child to explore hobbies that don’t involve screens, such as reading, drawing, or playing a musical instrument. These activities not only reduce screen time but also promote creativity and cognitive development.
- Be a Role Model
Children often mimic their parent’s behaviors. By modeling healthy screen habits, like limiting your own screen time and engaging in offline activities, you set a positive example for your child.
- Use Technology Wisely
Leverage parental control tools to monitor and limit your child’s screen time. Apps like Apple’s Screen Time or Android’s Digital Wellbeing can help set specific time limits and ensure age-appropriate content.
- Establish a Structured Routine
A consistent daily schedule helps children transition smoothly between activities. Incorporate specific times for schoolwork, physical activity, family time, and screen time to maintain balance.
- Encourage Social Interaction
Organize playdates or family outings to promote face-to-face interactions. Socializing in person helps children develop essential communication skills and emotional intelligence.
The New School Year is Great Opportunity for New Routines
As the school year begins, it’s an ideal time to reassess your family’s screen time habits. Collaborate with your child to set realistic goals and establish routines that prioritize both academic responsibilities and personal well-being.
Remember, the goal isn’t to eliminate screen time entirely but to ensure it’s balanced with other enriching activities. By setting boundaries and encouraging diverse experiences, you help your child develop a healthier, more balanced lifestyle.
Seeking Support
Now it is time to begin….The thing that started out as a means to keep your little ones busy needs to go. It seemed great at first but you realize screentime is impacting you, your family’s harmony, and your child too! With consistent effort and clear boundaries, you can guide your child toward healthier screen habits.
If you feel you need support in managing screen time or have concerns about your child’s digital habits, professional guidance may be a great next step. Whether this looks like personal counseling for yourself or play therapy sessions for your child, you are not in this alone in this. We’re here to help! Visit our Therapist Page to learn more about each provider in our practice.
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Keeping Families Happy During Summer
Creating a Happy Family during Summer Break
For many families, summertime offers a break from the hustle and bustle of the school year and a chance to move at a much slower pace. Parents often enter the summer season excited to spend more time together and make fun memories as a family. However, now that everyone has settled in, you may feel that excitement wearing off if there is an increase in bickering and quarreling. Perhaps you’re starting to feel more like a referee for the increase in squabbles and sibling rivalry between your children. The lack of a normal routine, coupled with the extra family closeness is likely starting to take a toll on the family. We get it. Family conflict is normal and unavoidable, but it is important to know how to manage differences so that you are actually able to enjoy your summer! Here are some tips to help you navigate your family’s conflicts and work to strengthen your relationships this summer!
How to Improve Relationships Between Siblings
Spend time with each child individually
The best way to decrease sibling rivalry is to give each child positive, one-on-one attention, so they won’t seek negative attention from one another. Try to carve out 10-15 minutes a few times a week to spend with each child, doing an activity of their choice and nurturing their individual interests.
Avoid comparisons and labels
When you compare your children to one another or give them labels, such as “the wild one” and “my athletic one,” you are fueling the sibling rivalry. Instead, create opportunities for cooperation by focusing on the unique abilities of each child.
Know when to get involved
Sometimes, when a parent steps in to break up conflict, it can appear as though you are choosing a side. Try to avoid being the referee and let your children learn how to work through conflict, when possible.
Encourage finding a solution
While you may not always need to step in as a referee or judge, you can act as a mediator, helping your kids come up with a solution that appeals to both sides. Demonstrating compromise and problem-solving tools can equip your children to solve future conflicts.
Reward positive interactions
Take time to observe and point out positive interactions between your children. No need to go overboard, but your kids will appreciate the praise.
Get outside
Encourage time outdoors as much as possible. This will improve your children’s sleep mood, which will help them to better resolve conflicts with siblings.
Help identify triggers
You can help your children to prevent conflict beforehand by talking through situations that commonly lead to disputes and having them role-play how to handle those situations with respectful words and behaviors
Family Relationship Rules that Work!
Keep boundaries in place
Summer is not the time to forgo all of the family rules. Staying firm in your boundaries is healthy for your family. Be transparent about your expectations for one another during the summertime. Have a family meeting if you need to.
Maintain a light summer schedule
Along with keeping personal boundaries in place, your family will benefit from some sort of structure. Try to keep mealtime, screen time, and bedtime consistent. There’s still room for flexibility- bedtime can be later. Everyone will get along better if they’re getting enough sleep.
Play together
Enjoying fun activities together as a family provides opportunities for quality time, deeper family bonding, and healthy communication. These activities don’t have to be expensive or extravagant- it can be a family game night, movie night, picnic dinner, walk through the neighborhood, or trip to the park!
Find balance
Family activities are great, but don’t need to happen every day of summer. It’s healthy for everyone to have some downtime to themselves. Try to find a balance between planned activities together and quiet or “doing nothing” time apart. It’s okay to be bored sometimes!
Recognize and communicate feelings
When conflict arises, try to listen to how each person is feeling and point it out. Be direct with your words on how you’re feeling as well, using “I feel…” statements, rather than placing blame.
Remember to breathe
Emotions can run high during times of conflict. It’s okay to have strong feelings, but it’s important to model self-regulation for your family. Watch your tone of voice. Recognize when you need to step back and breathe before intervening in a state of high emotion.
Source(s): childrensmd.org, chadd.org, health.clevelandclinic.org, extension.usu.edu, today.com, gowoyo.org, myuscare.com, parentingsimply.com
Sometimes participating in Family Therapy can be a great way to kick off positive changes in your home. We have multiple therapists who can help you all begin communicating and spending time with each other in positive and enjoyable ways. Miracles Counseling Centers can help!
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Raising Resilient Thinkers: How Words Shape a Child’s Mind
Raising Resilient Thinkers: How Words Shape a Child’s Mind
Have you ever caught yourself saying something like, “ugh, I can’t do this right.” under your breath—and then noticed little eyes watching you? It’s in those ordinary, unnoticed moments that children are learning not just about the world, but about how to think about themselves within it.
As parents, teachers, or caregivers, you are more than just a guide through reading and routines. You are helping shape the inner voice a child will carry for life. Their beliefs and thoughts don’t form in a vacuum. They’re sculpted every day through the things we say, the way we respond, and the environment we create.
Let’s talk about how to build a foundation of positive thinking from the start.
Why Words Matter
Research shows that by age 7, most children have developed a stable sense of self and are already internalizing beliefs about their worth, ability, and potential (Pajares, 2002). Consequently, these beliefs often stay with them into adulthood unless actively reshaped.
Their brains are constantly asking: “Am I good? Is this safe? Am I lovable? Am I capable?” And the world, including the adults in it, answer back, sometimes without even realizing it.
Children with positive self-beliefs are more likely to persevere through challenges, regulate emotions, and develop long-term resilience (Zimmerman, 2000).
Ultimately, invalidating environments can lead to harmful thought patterns such as anxiety, low self-esteem, or emotional suppression (Linehan, 1993).
The Power of the Inner Voice
That little inner voice… sometimes encouraging, sometimes critical—is formed early and often mimics the tone of the adults around them.
What you say becomes what they believe. And what they believe becomes how they interpret the world.
Here’s the great news: just as harmful messages can take root, so can hopeful, healing messages. You have the power to help them build a mindset that leans toward compassion, resilience, and confidence.
Tips for Teaching Healthy Thought Patterns
1. Use Positive, Process-Based Affirmations
Children absorb how we praise them more than what we praise them for.
Try saying:
“I love how you kept trying, even when it got hard.”
“You were so patient while waiting. That shows strength.”
“Even when you felt nervous, you were brave enough to speak.”
Avoid:
“You’re so smart.” (This can backfire when they face something difficult and feel like they’re failing that label.)
According to Carol Dweck’s work on growth mindset, praising effort and strategy helps children believe that abilities can improve with practice (Dweck, 2006).
2. Model Healthy Self-Talk
Children are incredible mimics. They watch how we handle frustration, setbacks, and our own mistakes.
What this looks like:
Saying out loud: “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed, so I’m going to take some deep breaths.”
Catching yourself: “Oops, I almost said I can’t do this—but really, I just need more time.”
Remember, every time you reframe your thinking aloud, you’re teaching them how to talk to themselves when no one’s around.
3. Create a Thought-Healthy Environment
You don’t need fancy tools to create a nurturing space—just intentional choices.
Simple environmental supports:
A Calm Corner: A cozy nook with pillows, fidget toys, and books about feelings.
Mantras or posters: Phrases like “Feelings are welcome here” or “Mistakes help us learn.”
Reflection rituals: Ask at dinner or bedtime, “What’s something that felt hard today, and what did you do about it?”
Books, media, and even decor all contribute to the beliefs kids form. Are the characters they watch kind to themselves? Do they celebrate effort or only perfection?
4. Start Their Day with Positivity
Imagine starting the morning by meeting your child in their room, smiling, and helping them begin their day with powerful, positive words:
“I am beautiful.”
“I am strong.”
“I will have a good day.”
Although these simple affirmations may seem small, but they build confidence, resilience, and self-love. Make it a habit, say them together while brushing teeth or getting dressed. Over time, your child starts to believe it. And that belief? It can shape their whole world.
5. Be Their Safe Mirror
A child builds their beliefs partly based on how we reflect their experiences back to them.
Supportive phrases to use:
“That looked really disappointing. I would’ve felt upset too.”
“You’re not bad for feeling angry—anger is just a feeling. What can we do with it?”
“You’re learning. That’s what matters.”
Emotional validation builds security. It tells children that their feelings aren’t too much, and their struggles don’t make them unlovable.
The echo that excels
As children face fear, make mistakes, or step into the unfamiliar, it’s your voice—persevering, reassuring, and encouraging—that echoes in their mind.
In conclusion, they might not always repeat your words, but they’ll feel them in their bones.
So let them feel:
Safe enough to struggle.
Worthy enough to rest.
Brave enough to try again.
Because when we nurture healthy thoughts, we nurture children who believe they are enough—not because they’re perfect, but because they are whole. We hope you have found value in this article. Whether you need family therapy, parenting support, or your own individual therapy to help address these issues, we are here to help.
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The Benefits of Play for your Child
Building Strong Emotional Bonds Through Play
Playing with your children is a natural human instinct. Whether it is rough housing, playing pretend, or using toys, this type of activity is seemingly hardwired in the human brain. Kids play in all kinds of ways—pretending to be superheroes, running and climbing outside, building with blocks, or getting messy with paint and sand. Some play with friends, learning to share and take turns, while others enjoy quiet time alone with puzzles or dolls. Each type of play helps them grow, explore, and express themselves.
it may seem somewhat insignificant at surface-level, playing with your child has many benefits. In fact, play is incredibly significant to the growth and development of your child!
Play is how children understand the world
Garry Landreth, the founder of child-centered play therapy, states that “toys are children’s words, and play is their language”. He goes on to state that children frequently use playing as symbolic self-expression. Play can represent things that they desire, need, or are experiencing in their lives. Children do not operate in the cognitive or verbal world; they express through play. Play is an important part of services for children and adolescents in our office as research shows.
You have already seen the power of play
You may have observed this truth in your own children. The ease they use their imagination is automatic. You have witnessed them recreating adult relationships in their play with others. Children are powerful observers as well. When your child shares with you what they see others doing, this is emotional learning in action. We also know that physically active children are healthier. This is what helps them to develop balance and hand eye coordination. Think back. Your young athlete’s skill and responsiveness improves each season. These are examples of how play helps the child socially, emotionally, and physically as the grow.
Be a part of their growth through play
Playing with your children presents an opportunity to create a space that is safe for them. This gives them the potential to express what they are wanting, needing, or experiencing in a manner that is natural and comfortable for them. In this way you are meeting them where they are. So why not play more?
Playing with your has multiple potential benefits:
- Assisting the development of secure emotional attachment
- The way a child learns to attach to others is based on their life circumstances. This is especially true during their critical development periods. To develop a secure attachment a few things are required. First, emotional attunement. This means noticing their cues, offering comfort, and validating their emotions in a consistent, nurturing way. Second, a safe environment. This provides the sense of security children need to explore the world and return for reassurance. Lastly, parents who positively interact with their children. This is done by the use of warmth, playfulness, eye contact, and gentle guidance—teach children that relationships can be a source of joy, support, and stability.
- Bolstering Emotion Regulation Skills
- While playing with a child, there are often situations in which the child can become very angry or frustrated. You can model healthy emotion regulation during play. This helps guide them through frustrating situations. In this way, the child can learn how to pro-social behaviors to other circumstances when you are not present. These practice situations create opportunities to learn coping skills and conflict resolution.
- Building Self-Confidence
- During play, children may often find themselves in tough situations to overcomel. Parents can empower the child by supporting them as they conquer the challenges they face during play. This process can assist in the development of individuality and self-confidence. Confidence also enhances a child to try new things that may feel difficulty at first.
- Reinforcement of Positive Behaviors
- During play, children may exhibit behaviors that are both positive and negative. Playing with your child can provide an opportunity for you to reinforce positive behaviors in real time. When positive behaviors occur, you can reinforce those behaviors with phrases like “I noticed you sharing your toy with me, great job!” These responses increase the presence of positive behaviors.
- Mutual Enjoyment
- Playing offers a unique opportunity for parents and children to connect in a joyful and meaningful way. It’s more than just fun—it’s a shared experience where laughter, imagination, and presence come together. Through play, memories are created and the parent-child bond is deepened. These moments of connection can build trust, encourage communication, and remind children that they are seen and valued.
Play can be an excellent tool to accomplish these goals and more. Through the process of entering their world, you may find that it is an effective tool to add to your parenting toolbelt. Being a “kid” again may feel unnatural initially. Knowing how to interact and play with your child is a skill that can be learned! Our child therapists are able to set the example and help you learn how to get down to your child’s level.
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A Walkthrough on Childhood Depression
Childhood Depression, What parents need to know
If you are here, you have concerns. Are you noticing your child isn’t being “themselves?” Is your child isolating away from family or friends. Or perhaps they are expressing a disliking of themselves saying they are stupid or no one likes them? Children DO go through depression. But their cues that this is the case are much more subtle. Childhood depression can be difficult to recognize but not hard when you know what signs to look for.
We know you want your child to have the best childhood they can, and also to love themselves! When children struggle with sadness, poor self esteem, and depression they are not living their best lives. Giving space and validity that their emotions are ok to talk about is a major step towards helping them to heal when they are going through depression, sadness, and social stressors such as bullying.
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Depression impacts the whole child
Children who struggle with depression can slowly turn into themselves. This will cause a disconnection from friends, their schooling, and family. Childhood depression can lead to poor sleep and at times over or under eating. If it is left untreated depression during childhood can increase the risk of prolonged, severe depressive episodes in the future and can also lead to towars increased risk of self-injurious behavior. We know that children will potentially struggle socially and academically as well. With help, your child can rebuild their confidence again, returning back to the fun and learning that childhood can give them. This is why it is important to address childhood depression as early as possible.
Recognizing when your child needs help
Every child will occasionally feel sad or hopeless. So how can you tell if your child is depressed or just sad? Children and adolescents who have depression typically experience persistent, intense feelings of sadness and hopelessness that impacts their daily functioning. Early recognition and treatment of depression in children and adolescents can be life-saving. Due to their youth, often children do not have the vocabularly to really express what they are feeling. But as a parent, you can often tell something is quite right.
These are signs that your child could be struggling with depressed feelings:
>Unusual sadness or irritability that persists despite time
>Little to no interest in activities previously enjoyed
>Changes in eating patterns
>Changes in sleep patterns
>Sluggishness and decrease in energy
>Shift in behavior and/or academic performance
>Harsh self-assessment and feelings of worthlessness
>Self-injury or self-destructive behavior
>Thoughts of or attempts at suicide
Can counseling help my child?
The good news is that depression is VERY treatable, but the sooner the better! Having your child begin counseling sets the tone for them seeking emotional health support in their adulthood. Our therapists use several different evidence-based therapies that are shown to be effective in treating depression in children and adolescents, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, interpersonal therapy, dialectical behavior therapy, and play therapy.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): During CBT, our therapists help children and adolescents understand how their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are all connected. We collaborate with children to set and achieve goals, such as identifying and changing unhelpful thought patterns, and teach them the skills needed to cope with their symptoms.
Interpersonal therapy (IPT): In IPT, our therapists focus on children’s social relationships, which can either maintain their depression or suffer because of it. We teach children proper communication and problem-solving skills, and help them understand how their relationships may affect their mood. IPT can be adapted for adolescents with depression to address romantic relationships and communication with parents and peers. Parents may be asked to participate in these sessions.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): DBT is a helpful therapy for children with more severe depression who might engage in self-harm or experience suicidal thoughts. During DBT, our therapists teach children and adolescents the practice of mindfulness, as well as problem-solving skills, to help them manage distress and difficult situations in a healthy way.
Play Therapy: We believe that children can communicate and express themselves through play. In play therapy, our therapists help children address their depression and cope with their depressive symptoms. We use play to teach children how to communicate, express their feelings, take responsibility for their behavior, problem-solve, relate to others, and develop self-efficacy.
We love working with children!
We know your love for your child and we take this responsibility seriously in growing healthy young people in our communities. We are ready to support your child in being the healthiest version of themselves when they need us.
Source: Child Mind, CDC, & Anxiety & Depresion Association of America
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How to recognize ADHD in children
How to recognize ADHD in Children
ADHD stands for attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and is a common neurodevelopmental disorder that often appears in early childhood,
before the age of 7. ADHD is neurodivergent because it’s a neurodevelopmental disorder that changes how you think and process information. Many of us have a laymen’s understanding of ADHD, but telling the difference of symptoms versus normal childhood behavior can be difficult.
What does the science say about ADHD
Scientists believe these differences are due to the unique structure and chemistry of the ADHD brain. ADHD typically involves a combination of inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity, but there are different types of ADHD in which all of these characteristics may not be present. If you are concerned that your child could struggle with this condition, do not fret! Neurological differences are quickly becoming understood and adaptive teaching approaches are being incorporated to help children with ADHD be successful in their lives.
What are the signs of ADHD in children?
Getting a quality and comprehensive evaluation is critical to accurate dignosis. This will most likely look like getting the feedback not just from parents, but also from school staff. Taken into consideration will be their performance in all environments, age of onset, as well as family history. In diagnosing ADHD in children, the following are symptoms of inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity that a doctor or mental health professional will look for:
Inattention:
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- Difficulty staying focused; gets easily distracted or bored with a task before it is finished
- Does not seem to listen to others when spoken to
- Doesn’t pay attention to details and makes careless mistakes
- Difficulty following directions
- Trouble remembering things
- Poor organizational skills
Impulsivity:
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- Acts without thinking
- Often interrupts others or intrudes on conversations/activities
- Difficulty waiting for his/her turn
- Blurts out answers and guesses instead of taking the time to solve problems
- Inability to keep powerful emotions in check (may result in angry outbursts/tantrums)
Hyperactivity:
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- Excessive fidgeting or squirming
- Talks excessively
- Difficulty sitting still
- Constantly moving, often running or climbing
- Trouble engaging in quiet or relaxing activities
What is the difference between normal behavior and ADHD?
All children can be inattentive, hyperactive, or impulsive at times, so it can be hard to distinguish between typical kid behavior and ADHD. If your child is only exhibiting a few of these symptoms, or they only appear in certain situations, this probably isn’t ADHD. However, if your child appears to be showing many of these signs and they’re present across all situations (i.e. school, home, play), it might be time to consider an evaluation for ADHD. An evaluation can be performed by a psychologist, psychiatrist, and a qualified mental health clinician.
How is ADHD in children treated?
Children with ADHD commonly experience certain challenges, such as difficulty with school, making friends, or managing their behavior. Therefore, it is important to seek the proper treatment. Effective treatments for ADHD include behavior therapy, parent education and training, social skill development, and, often, medication (prescribed by a medical doctor or psychiatrist). Several of our therapists offer support for ADHD in children, visit our clinicians page to explore a therapist that can help you address this issue.
Source(s): mayoclinic.org, hopkinsmedicine.org
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