Trauma’s Impact on You
Understanding the Trauma Response
When you hear the word trauma, what comes to mind?
Perhaps you picture a soldier returning home from war, haunted by memories too heavy to carry. That image is valid but it’s also incomplete. Because here’s the truth: trauma doesn’t just wear combat boots. Trauma can wear yoga pants. It can sit at a desk job. It can raise children, scroll social media, or smile through the pain at family gatherings.
Maybe you’ve even minimized your own pain because you didn’t have bruises to show for it. Reviewing your own trauma through a lens tailored to what you thought was classified as “actual trauma”, telling yourself “I haven’t been through anything that bad. Other people have had it worse.” But hear me clearly: if something overwhelmed your ability to cope, that was trauma.
So… What Is Trauma, Really?
Trauma isn’t about what happened. It’s about how your nervous system responded to what happened. This means that your brain has taken information about an experience, and hard wired a response when it perceives any other similar events. Trauma is any experience that felt threatening, unsafe, or emotionally overwhelming, especially if it left you feeling powerless, unsupported, or alone. This could be a one-time event (like an accident), or ongoing situations (like emotional neglect, toxic relationships, or growing up in a chaotic home). It doesn’t have to be loud to be a trauma. Sometimes the quietest, most invisible wounds run the deepest.
Common Symptoms of Trauma
There’s the trauma responses you expect, and then the ones that sneak up on you, the kind that make you feel like, “Why am I like this?” Let’s start with the ones that are often linked with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or acute trauma, including:
- Flashbacks – feeling like you’re reliving the trauma, even if it happened years ago.
- Nightmares/Night terrors – sleep disturbances of fear, memory or anguish
- Intrusive thoughts that pop into your mind and won’t go away.
- Hypervigilance – constantly scanning for danger, unable to relax.
- Panic attacks – sudden surge of anxiety causing mental and physical symptoms.
- Dissociation – zoning out or feeling disconnected from your body or surroundings.
These are intense and often misunderstood symptoms.
These symptoms are your brain’s way of trying to protect you from a perceived threat,
even if that threat is no longer real.
Ways Trauma Shows Up That You Might Not Realize
What is interesting about trauma, is that you may have been working on it in therapy without even knowing it. You don’t need flashbacks or nightmares to be considered traumatized. Trauma can show up in more subtle, everyday ways. It might look like constant self-doubt or struggling with feelings of impostor syndrome. Or maybe you are questioning your worth despite evidence to the contrary.
In relationships, you may have difficulty setting boundaries or saying “no.” This then puts others’ needs ahead of your own. When counseling goals have been around feeling like you’re never enough, this could be trauma too. Other aspects of your emotional health that potentially could be trauma related is persistent fears of abandonment or rejection in relationships. Trauma can create a hyper-independent personality, who believes they can’t rely on others – because doing so has only led to disappointment. Others may feel emotionally numb, as if they’re merely observing life rather than fully participating in it. As you can see, trauma can impact you in very subtle ways.
Forms of Trauma
Did you know that trauma comes in many shapes? It’s important to recognize there’s no “trauma Olympics.” No scale of “yours counts, but mine doesn’t.” Trauma can come in many forms—whether it stems from loss, abuse, neglect, betrayal, sudden change, or even experiences that might look “small” from the outside but feel overwhelming on the inside.
- Acute Trauma – One-time events like a car accident, assault, or natural disaster.
- Chronic Trauma – Repeated exposure to distress, like ongoing abuse, neglect, or bullying.
- Complex Trauma – A mix of many traumatic experiences, often starting in childhood, that affect your sense of self and relationships.
- Developmental Trauma – Occurs during early life, when your brain and sense of safety are still forming.
- Secondary or Vicarious Trauma – When you’re deeply affected by witnessing or hearing about someone else’s trauma (common in caregivers, therapists, first responders).
- PTSD and C-PTSD – Diagnosed conditions with specific symptom clusters, including flashbacks, nightmares, and emotional dysregulation.
No trauma is “too small” to matter. Pain isn’t a competition.
Trauma Shapes our Reactions to the Present
Trauma can also impact how we react to some people and situations. Have you ever found yourself shutting down in conversations? Perhaps, you ‘re overreacting to “small” things? That’s not you being “too sensitive” or “crazy.” That’s your nervous system trying to protect you.These responses are not conscious choices but automatic protective mechanisms.
Common trauma responses include:
Fight: Anger, control, confrontation. You might snap quickly or try to stay in charge to avoid feeling vulnerable.
Flight: Perfectionism, overworking, anxiety. You stay “busy” to outrun the discomfort.
Freeze: Numbness, procrastination, zoning out.
Fawn: People-pleasing, codependency, self-abandoning, shape-shifting to be “safe” or loved.
It’s important to remember these responses are adaptive—they once served a protective purpose. It’s just that this reaction is no longer useful. Now that you see these for what they are, you are one more step towards healing.
Trauma Therapy Helps you Move Forward
With therapy and support, individuals can learn to regulate their nervous system, build healthier coping strategies, and experience a greater sense of safety. Healing isn’t about forgetting or pretending it didn’t matter. It’s about making the choice now, to finally give your body and brain the safety they needed back then. Healing from trauma is not linear, it’s a process. The most important thing to remember is.. you are not weak for being affected by what happened to you. You are not dramatic for acknowledging your pain and giving it a name. And above all, you are not alone in how you feel.
Start small. Learn to notice your triggers without judgment. Practice self-compassion, even if it feels foreign. Reach out for support, whether it’s trauma therapy, community, or trauma-informed resources. EMDR therapy, Brainspotting, or TFCBT are just a few options available to you.
And most importantly: stop comparing your pain to someone else’s. Your story matters. The body remembers. Your healing is valid…
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Stresses of College Students
The Stress of a College Student
Being back on campus can be exciting. It’s a new year with new opportunities and connecting again with friends you haven’t seen in months. But are you back on campus and already overwhelmed? Does it feel like your to-do list is growing faster than your energy? Or maybe you’re a parent, and your student seems more irritable, anxious, or exhausted than excited now that school is actually here.
Whether you’re packing for your first semester, returning to check off another semester, or knee-deep in finals, college isn’t just about classes and fun. It’s a pressure cooker of deadlines, decisions, and expectations. College can serve as such a pivotal moment in a person’s life, however, also can sometimes take a toll on one’s mental health.
Let’s Talk 10 Areas of Stress College Students Face:
1. Academic Stress and Burnout
Overwhelming coursework, constant pressure to perform, and highly competitive academic environments can quickly lead to chronic stress and burnout for college students. Many find themselves juggling intense class loads with extracurriculars and part-time jobs, all while trying to meet high expectations. Challenges like poor time management, perfectionism, and a deep fear of failure often make things worse turning everyday stress into a persistent mental and emotional weight.
2. Anxiety and Depression
If you’ve felt unusually anxious, emotionally numb, or unmotivated, you’re not making it up. Rates of anxiety and depression are higher than ever, nearly 3 in 4 college students report moderate to high stress, and 35% have an official anxiety diagnosis. Rates of generalized anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder are rising steadily among college students, reflecting a growing mental health crisis on campuses. These conditions are often triggered by a combination of factors, including social isolation, academic pressure, financial stress, and uncertainty about the future. As these stressors pile up, many students find it increasingly difficult to cope without support. Therapy addressing these issues is often critical to keep the young adult on track and successful.
3. Social Media and Digital Overload
You know that moment when you’re just “checking Instagram for five minutes” and suddenly it’s 2 a.m. and you feel terrible? Perhaps the scroll lasted so long due to “Fear of missing out” (FOMO). Social media can increase connection but also fuel anxiety, loneliness, and unhealthy comparisons. The phrase “doom scrolling” is also one you may have heard of relating to the negative emotional toll that social media can cause. Frequent use of social media without moderations often times affects self-esteem, sleep, and attention span. Counseling is sometimes considered as a way to help set better boundaries around technology when the compulsion is very strong.
4. Loneliness and Social Isolation
Many students report feeling disconnected from their peers, a trend that has become even more pronounced in the post-pandemic era. Forming genuine friendships can be especially difficult for introverted students or those navigating remote or hybrid learning environments, where organic social interaction is limited. As a result, many college students who seek out therapy are experiencing this. This sense of isolation can leave students feeling alone, unsupported, and detached from campus life.
5. Substance Use and Coping Mechanisms
Whether it’s caffeine for cramming, alcohol at parties, or weed to unwind… substance use is common on college campuses. But when it becomes a way to escape or cope, itcan quietly make mental health worse instead of better. When a college student leans into substances to cope, mental health therapy becomes critical to learn healthy coping skills. Otherwise, dependency can become a lifelong struggle.
6. Imposter Syndrome
Ever feel like you’re faking it and it’s just a matter of time before everyone finds out? You’re not alone. Imposter syndrome affects even the most capable students and can sabotage confidence, relationships, and academic performance. Many students struggle with imposter syndrome feeling like a fraud despite clear evidence of their competence and accomplishments. This is especially common among high-achieving individuals, first-generation college students, and those from marginalized backgrounds or competitive academic programs.
7. Financial Stress
Balancing tuition, books, rent, and basic needs creates major pressure. Students with financial insecurity often feel they can’t afford to take a break even when they’re struggling mentally or physically.
8. Identity and Belonging
Exploring who you are racially, culturally, sexually… can be powerful. But it can also feel isolating, especially if your campus lacks diversity or understanding. Many students navigate discrimination, microaggressions, or fear of not being accepted. Often times in the therapy world, students can learn the language for what they are experiencing. This eventually gives them the power to not feel personally at fault for the larger societal systems.
9. The Stigma around Mental Health
Students often feel like their problems “aren’t bad enough” to justify counseling or they’re afraid of what others might think. But ignoring mental health concerns doesn’t make them disappear. The stigma is fading, but it still holds many students back.
10. Sleep and Mental Health
Pulling all-nighters or crashing for four hours a night might seem like a normal part of college but sleep deprivation has serious consequences. Memory can be significantly impacted when sleep health is not addressed. Lack of sleep also affects concentration, mood, immune function, and long-term mental health.
Tired of Carrying the Weight Alone?
Let’s be real: college is one of the most important, transitional, and intense periods of your life. And while friends, mentors, and parents can offer support, there are times where you just need more.
That’s where therapy comes in.
Whether you’re trying to manage anxiety, heal from burnout, figure out your identity, or just get through the semester without falling apart, therapy gives you the tools to handle life, not just survive it.
Here’s what therapy can do for you:
- Help you understand what’s really behind your stress
- Teach coping strategies that actually work in real-time
- Offer support that’s judgment-free, confidential, and built around your goals
- Give you a safe space to talk about things you can’t say anywhere else
- Help you build routines, set boundaries, and feel more like yourself
And to parents reading this: encouraging your student to explore therapy doesn’t mean something’s wrong it means you care. Normalizing mental health support is one of the best gifts you can give them.
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Helping Your Little One Name Big Feelings
Helping Your “Little One” Name “Big” Feelings
Does your little one ever come to you in tears, without actually saying what’s wrong? Perhaps you sometimes wonder which feeling is behind those tears, is it disappointment, hurt, loneliness? It is completely normal, for children, to use words like “sad” or “mad” when they’re really feeling something deeper. For some, they have no feeling words to describe what they are going through. Children cannot have the language until we teach them. Helping them put names to their emotions is one of the most powerful gifts you can give.
Why Naming Feelings Matters
Emotion naming also known as affect labeling does more than just add words to your child’s vocabulary. It helps them feel a little less overwhelmed. Research shows that labeling an emotion reduces stress, calms the amygdala, and gives kids more control over their feelings.
Additionally, children with a solid emotional vocabulary are healthier socially, less impulsive, and more focused in school. That’s because once kids can say “I feel frustrated,” rather than just “mad,” they also strengthen their ability to regulate their emotions and communicate what they need.
Everyday Ways to Support Your Child
Narrate Your Own Emotions
Try something like: “I feel really excited because I’m playing with you!” or “I’m frustrated because I lost my keys.” When kids hear emotion words multiple times a day in different contexts, it becomes normal for them too.
Use Emotion Charts or Faces
Print or buy a simple feeling wheel or poster, this display shows feelings named and faces that can help children identify what they feel. Imagine standing in front of a chart with your child seeing happy, sad, mad, proud, worried and asking “Which face matches how you feel?” If your child points to the worried one, you might respond, “It looks like you’re feeling worried. Did something happen at school?” This visual cue helps kids connect an internal feeling with a real word.
Play Storybook Emotions
While reading a story, pause and say: “How do you think that character is feeling? Why?” When you say, “She seems proud of finishing her puzzle, have you ever felt proud like that?” your child gets practice identifying and talking about complex feelings.
Act It Out: Charades Style
Turn emotion-naming into a game! Write feelings (like excited, upset, scared) on paper, let your child act one out, and guess together. After guessing, ask, “Have you ever felt that way? When?”
Tune Into the Body
Help children link physical sensations to emotions: “Your shoulders are tight, you might be feeling worried.” Or “Your tummy is all fluttery, could that be excitement?” This body awareness trick helps them label feelings more precisely.
What About Tough Moments?
If your child is having a meltdown your approach in that situation can either escalate and deescalate the situation. Oftentimes as parents it can be easy to jump straight to discipline, resolution, or dismissing feelings as means to salvage control and quiet.
Instead, try this two-step approach:
- Pause and Breathe Together, say something like “Let’s take three deep breaths.” It may take a moment. Be patient. This can take some time as they try to get control of their breathing.
- When things calm down a bit, gently say, “It seems like you felt really frustrated or overwhelmed. Do you want to tell me about it?”
That way, you’re modeling emotional regulation and helping them find the right word in a calmer, safer moment.
The Benefits to Naming Emotions are Many
The major benefit to have a high emotional understand is Stronger resilience. When kids name feelings like “disappointed” or “left out” instead of crying or hitting, they’re better able to manage those feelings next time. Children who have the ability to know their emotions also perform better academically and report great levels of life satisfaction. Other benefits include the following:
- Better friendships: Being able to say “I feel hurt when you don’t share” helps friends understand and respect them.
- Stronger bond with you: The more your child knows you “get” what they’re feeling, the more they’ll come to you with big issues as they grow.
Feelings are our friend! The goal isn’t to avoid feelings, it’s about naming them so we can manage them better. This is the message we want you to hear, allowing your child to reap the benefits! We know you want the best for your child and their future. This is a simple skill that costs nothing and will give them continued positive opportunities!
If you feel your child needs more support in emotional recognition and communication counseling and play therapy may be a great next step. You certainly do not have to do this alone. We have seen amazing growth in children when we work with them on emotional language with the combination of understanding of their body responses. We’re here to help! Visit our Therapist Page to learn more about each provider in our practice, several of who have years of clinical experience ins upporting children and adolescents mental health.
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Kids and Screen Time: Tips for the School Year
Kids and Screen Time: Tips for the School Year
The Digital Dilemma of Parenting
Is your child glued to a screen, even when they should be doing homework or playing outside? Let’s face it, what started out as a simple way for you to keep your kids occupied while you get things done, has turned into their secret obsession with screen time. Screens are now embedded in daily life—used for schoolwork, social interaction, and entertainment. While technology can be educational, excessive screen use has been linked to sleep disturbances, behavioral concerns, and visual strain.
A recent study (Psychological Bulletin, 2025) analyzing data from nearly 300,000 children found a strong correlation between screen overuse—particularly time spent on video games—and increased social and emotional challenges.
When Tech Takes Over the Emotional Impacts are Obvious
Oftentimes, youth are more irritable, distracted, and unfocused when they have had extended periods of screentime. You’re not imagining it. Research shows that too much screen time can overstimulate the brain, leading to difficulties in focus and emotional regulation.
But here’s the good news: you have the power to help your child develop a healthier relationship with screens. It starts with setting clear, consistent limits and encouraging other activities that promote well-being.
Navigating the Detox Phase from Screens
As you begin to set new screen time boundaries, it’s normal for your child to go through an adjustment period often called a “detox” phase. It’ll start out little bumpy at first. Kids will likely be more moody, say they’re bored, or push back against the new rules. This “detox” phase is totally normal it’s just their brain adjusting to less stimulation.
The most important thing during this phase is patience, and to stick with it! Stay calm, be consistent, and offer fun alternatives like playing outside, reading, or doing something creative together. Most kids settle into the new routine within a few days or weeks, and many become more focused, calmer, and even happier.
Just like with any healthy habit, the initial discomfort often gives way to surprising benefits. Many parents find that after a few days or weeks, their children become calmer, more focused, and more engaged with the world around them.
Creating a Healthier Routine
To foster a balanced lifestyle:
- Set Clear Screen Time Limits
Establish daily screen time limits based on your child’s age and needs. For instance, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than one hour per day of recreational screen time for children aged 2 to 5 years. School age children are recommended to keep screen time at a range of 1.5-2 hours
- Create Screen-Free Zones
Designate certain areas of your home, like the dining room or bedrooms, as screen-free zones. This encourages face-to-face interactions and helps establish boundaries between leisure and rest.
- Encourage Physical Activity
Make sure your child has plenty of opportunities for physical activity, whether it’s playing outside, participating in sports, or just taking breaks to move around during screen time.
- Foster Offline Hobbies
Encourage your child to explore hobbies that don’t involve screens, such as reading, drawing, or playing a musical instrument. These activities not only reduce screen time but also promote creativity and cognitive development.
- Be a Role Model
Children often mimic their parent’s behaviors. By modeling healthy screen habits, like limiting your own screen time and engaging in offline activities, you set a positive example for your child.
- Use Technology Wisely
Leverage parental control tools to monitor and limit your child’s screen time. Apps like Apple’s Screen Time or Android’s Digital Wellbeing can help set specific time limits and ensure age-appropriate content.
- Establish a Structured Routine
A consistent daily schedule helps children transition smoothly between activities. Incorporate specific times for schoolwork, physical activity, family time, and screen time to maintain balance.
- Encourage Social Interaction
Organize playdates or family outings to promote face-to-face interactions. Socializing in person helps children develop essential communication skills and emotional intelligence.
The New School Year is Great Opportunity for New Routines
As the school year begins, it’s an ideal time to reassess your family’s screen time habits. Collaborate with your child to set realistic goals and establish routines that prioritize both academic responsibilities and personal well-being.
Remember, the goal isn’t to eliminate screen time entirely but to ensure it’s balanced with other enriching activities. By setting boundaries and encouraging diverse experiences, you help your child develop a healthier, more balanced lifestyle.
Seeking Support
Now it is time to begin….The thing that started out as a means to keep your little ones busy needs to go. It seemed great at first but you realize screentime is impacting you, your family’s harmony, and your child too! With consistent effort and clear boundaries, you can guide your child toward healthier screen habits.
If you feel you need support in managing screen time or have concerns about your child’s digital habits, professional guidance may be a great next step. Whether this looks like personal counseling for yourself or play therapy sessions for your child, you are not in this alone in this. We’re here to help! Visit our Therapist Page to learn more about each provider in our practice.
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Understanding Anxiety in Teens
Anxiety in Teens….What is going on?
Anxiety during the teenage years is often misunderstood. It’s not just nerves before a test or stress about a big game. For some teens, anxiety can feel like they’re constantly on edge like their mind is racing, and their heart is pounding. It can feel like something bad is just around the corner, even when everything seems “normal.” This can affect their focus, sleep, confidence, and relationships. Additionally, since teens are still learning how to express and manage intense emotions, anxiety can often go unnoticed or be mistaken for moodiness or defiance.
Let’s take a deeper look at what this can look like.
Why are Teens So Anxious?
Being a teenager today isn’t just about school dances and homework, it’s a constant balance between high expectations, social pressure, and a world that often feels uncertain.What are the specific contributors, you might ask?
Teens are Under Academic Pressures : The pressures on teens to excel in school are stronger than ever before. Competitive college entrance standards combined with the expectation to participate in extracurricular activities is a lot by itself. This along with the idea that they need to plan for their future can be oppressively stressful. A teen might worry obsessively about getting into the “right” college or maintaining straight As not always because they want to, but because they feel like falling short would disappoint everyone around them.
Social expectations are Strong : Whether it’s fitting in, standing out, or managing the constant performance of social media, teens often feel like they’re under a spotlight. A teen might delete a post if it doesn’t get enough likes or stress for hours after a group chat without a reply, convinced they’ve done something wrong. Teens experience anxiety around how they compare from clothing, to body strength, to the car they drive. There are many teens can get trapped in comparing themselves to others, resulting in worries and low self-esteem, and possibly body image issues.
Constant Peer pressure and Identity Exploration : From experimenting with relationships and navigating cliques, to figuring out who they are, teens today face an overwhelming mix of choices and judgments. A teen questioning their identity, for example, may feel intense anxiety about being misunderstood or rejected even in their own home.
Societal and Environmental Awareness : Many teens are deeply aware of issues like climate change, school shootings, economic instability, and political division. It’s not unusual for a teen to lie awake at night, not because of something they did, but because of everything they can’t control.
Anxiety, in this context, isn’t just about worrying. It’s about trying to grow up in a world that feels demanding, unpredictable, and sometimes unsafe, with a brain that’s still developing the tools to manage it all.
What causes teens to be vulnerable to anxiety?
- Biology & genetics
Some teens are naturally more sensitive to stress as a result of inherited traits or subtle brain chemistry differences.
- Life events & environment
Big changes like moving, family conflict, loss and other transitions can cause a teen’s instability. Even ongoing stress caused by things anticipated like bullying, school pressure, or practicing lockdown drills can bring anxiety to the surface.
- Social media & academic intensity
Social comparison, fear of missing out, and relentless performance standards all constantly bombard teens through their screens. Social media has a way of affecting individuals subconsciously, meaning they may not directly realize they’re comparing themselves, however, will start to develop habits that reflect self-shame, insecurity, or conformity. How would this create anxiety? you might ask. Imagine trying to change your appearance based on societal norms and still feeling like you don’t fit, so you become fixated on “getting it right”.
- Role modeling
Kids often pick up on their parent’s own stress levels if mom or dad are constantly anxious, that tension rubs off. Let’s say you’re always stressing about finances in front of your children, the emotional attachment they have to you causes them to feel when your energy’s off, and sometimes they adopt that worry.
How to Support Your Anxious Teen
Support comes in five key steps:
Notice first, then reach out
Start simple: “You seem quieter than usual, how are you feeling?” Not in the moment of stress, but afterward like during a walk or sitting over dinner.
Listen and validate, no quick fixes
Let them unload without interruption. Say things like, “That sounds overwhelming” or “I get it, that must feel awful.” This creates safety and trust.
Teach simple coping tools
- Deep breathing or grounding: basics like breathing in for 4, holding, and out for 6.
- Journaling: writing down emotions can lighten the load.
- Physical activity: anything from yoga to team sports, or even a short walk helps.
- Mindfulness/meditation: five quiet minutes doing nothing can reset major overload.
Encourage healthy daily habits
- Sleep: aim for 8–10 hours every night
- Nutrition: well-balanced meals feed their resilience
- Screen breaks: avoid the constant scroll to regroup.
Be the example
Share your own anxiety with honesty and transparency, your kid notices but show them how you handle it: a breathing break, a walk, even saying “I’m anxious, let me pause for a second.”
Counseling for Teens is Important!
If anxiety is so overwhelming it disrupts school, friendships, sleep, or self-care, it may be time to explore professional support options. A mental health professional can help your child learn how to navigate their anxiety. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is the gold standard. Other options include mindfulness-based therapy, medication, or a school counselor referral. Early steps pay off. Tools like mood-tracking apps, anxiety-focused school programs, or teen support groups can make a huge difference.
Let Me Reassure you, You’re Not Alone
Parenting a teen with anxiety is tough but so are they. By noticing the signs, validating how your teen feels, giving them tools, and showing them calm, you light a path forward. And if you ever feel stuck, you’re exactly the person who can help and that makes all the difference.
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Keeping Families Happy During Summer
Creating a Happy Family during Summer Break
For many families, summertime offers a break from the hustle and bustle of the school year and a chance to move at a much slower pace. Parents often enter the summer season excited to spend more time together and make fun memories as a family. However, now that everyone has settled in, you may feel that excitement wearing off if there is an increase in bickering and quarreling. Perhaps you’re starting to feel more like a referee for the increase in squabbles and sibling rivalry between your children. The lack of a normal routine, coupled with the extra family closeness is likely starting to take a toll on the family. We get it. Family conflict is normal and unavoidable, but it is important to know how to manage differences so that you are actually able to enjoy your summer! Here are some tips to help you navigate your family’s conflicts and work to strengthen your relationships this summer!
How to Improve Relationships Between Siblings
Spend time with each child individually
The best way to decrease sibling rivalry is to give each child positive, one-on-one attention, so they won’t seek negative attention from one another. Try to carve out 10-15 minutes a few times a week to spend with each child, doing an activity of their choice and nurturing their individual interests.
Avoid comparisons and labels
When you compare your children to one another or give them labels, such as “the wild one” and “my athletic one,” you are fueling the sibling rivalry. Instead, create opportunities for cooperation by focusing on the unique abilities of each child.
Know when to get involved
Sometimes, when a parent steps in to break up conflict, it can appear as though you are choosing a side. Try to avoid being the referee and let your children learn how to work through conflict, when possible.
Encourage finding a solution
While you may not always need to step in as a referee or judge, you can act as a mediator, helping your kids come up with a solution that appeals to both sides. Demonstrating compromise and problem-solving tools can equip your children to solve future conflicts.
Reward positive interactions
Take time to observe and point out positive interactions between your children. No need to go overboard, but your kids will appreciate the praise.
Get outside
Encourage time outdoors as much as possible. This will improve your children’s sleep mood, which will help them to better resolve conflicts with siblings.
Help identify triggers
You can help your children to prevent conflict beforehand by talking through situations that commonly lead to disputes and having them role-play how to handle those situations with respectful words and behaviors
Family Relationship Rules that Work!
Keep boundaries in place
Summer is not the time to forgo all of the family rules. Staying firm in your boundaries is healthy for your family. Be transparent about your expectations for one another during the summertime. Have a family meeting if you need to.
Maintain a light summer schedule
Along with keeping personal boundaries in place, your family will benefit from some sort of structure. Try to keep mealtime, screen time, and bedtime consistent. There’s still room for flexibility- bedtime can be later. Everyone will get along better if they’re getting enough sleep.
Play together
Enjoying fun activities together as a family provides opportunities for quality time, deeper family bonding, and healthy communication. These activities don’t have to be expensive or extravagant- it can be a family game night, movie night, picnic dinner, walk through the neighborhood, or trip to the park!
Find balance
Family activities are great, but don’t need to happen every day of summer. It’s healthy for everyone to have some downtime to themselves. Try to find a balance between planned activities together and quiet or “doing nothing” time apart. It’s okay to be bored sometimes!
Recognize and communicate feelings
When conflict arises, try to listen to how each person is feeling and point it out. Be direct with your words on how you’re feeling as well, using “I feel…” statements, rather than placing blame.
Remember to breathe
Emotions can run high during times of conflict. It’s okay to have strong feelings, but it’s important to model self-regulation for your family. Watch your tone of voice. Recognize when you need to step back and breathe before intervening in a state of high emotion.
Source(s): childrensmd.org, chadd.org, health.clevelandclinic.org, extension.usu.edu, today.com, gowoyo.org, myuscare.com, parentingsimply.com
Sometimes participating in Family Therapy can be a great way to kick off positive changes in your home. We have multiple therapists who can help you all begin communicating and spending time with each other in positive and enjoyable ways. Miracles Counseling Centers can help!
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5 Steps to Recover from Burnout: Reclaiming Your Peace
5 Steps to Recover from Burnout: Reclaiming Your Peace
Burnout isn’t just a buzzword. It’s a real, draining experience that many of us face. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, emotionally drained, or like your spark has been blown out, you’re not alone. The good news? You can take steps to manage and even recover from burnout. Here’s a practical guide to help you regain balance, energy, and a sense of purpose.
1. Set Clear Boundaries Between Work and Life
We’ve all heard the term, “work-life balance”, but perhaps it’s felt like just that… a term. One of the most effective ways to prevent burnout is by establishing firm boundaries between your professional and personal life. This means setting specific work hours and resisting the urge to check emails or respond to work-related messages during your personal time.
Creating a dedicated workspace, especially if you work from home, can also help in maintaining this separation. By setting clear boundaries, you allow yourself the time and space needed to recharge, preventing burnout from creeping into your personal life.
Work life balance essentially bridges the gap between burn out and a healthy life balance. It’s being present, listening to your body when it says, “enough is enough”. It’s taking that vacation or mental break every so often.
2. Prioritize Self-Care and Physical Health
Taking care of your body is crucial in managing burnout. Regular physical activity, such as walking, yoga, or any form of exercise you enjoy, can significantly reduce stress
and improve mood. Aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity per week, as recommended by health experts.
Additionally, ensure you’re getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, and stay hydrated. These simple self-care practices can make a major difference in reducing stress and managing burnout effectively.
3. Build a Support Network
You don’t have to face burnout alone. For starters, being present and acknowledging when you’re physically, emotionally, or mentally drained is the first step to taking a step back. In the midst of exhaustion, sometimes our judgment becomes so clouded that we either continue trying to “power through” or suffer in silence.
Reaching out to friends, family, or colleagues to share and gain support can relieve the overwhelming feelings of stress and isolation that burnout may cause. Sharing your concerns, challenges, and frustrations can provide emotional relief and perspective. Whether it’s through casual conversations or seeking professional guidance, connecting with others can help you feel less isolated and more supported.
4. Practice Relaxation Techniques
Do you ever feel like everything is pent up resulting in discomfort and restlessness?
Incorporating relaxation practices into your daily routine can help reduce stress levels and combat burnout. Techniques such as deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery, and meditation can be effective in managing stress.
You can attend group activities where a practitioner can guide you through these techniques, use them alone at home, or follow along with an app or online video. Regular practice of these techniques can help you stay present and reduce stress, improving your overall well-being.
5. Seek Professional Help if Needed
Perhaps sometimes it feels like there’s so much to juggle that you don’t even know where to begin for relief.
If you’re struggling with burnout and finding it hard to cope, consider talking to a professional such as your general practitioner or a counselor. Mental health professionals serve as compasses that can help you navigate what feels like a personal storm in your life. Helping you to understand the effects of chronic stress on your thoughts and behaviors and work with you to develop strategies for recovery.
Navigating stressful situations isn’t easy, but there’s such a peace we feel when we know that our therapist is dedicated to helping us address long-held patterns of thought and behavior that may contribute to burnout.
A Healthier Tomorrow, Starts Today
Burnout is a serious issue that impacts mental and physical health. A healthier tomorrow means waking up with energy, feeling more in control of your day, and having the time and clarity to enjoy what matters most. By using the strategies outlined above, you can prevent and manage burnout and lead a happier, more balanced life. If a part of your healthier tomorrow is seeking therapy support, visit our clinicians page to find a therapist you would like to work with.
Information sourced from therapists knowledge in addition to the following website.
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Could It Be More Than Burn Out? Burn Out vs. Depression
Could it be more? Burn Out vs. Depression
Do you find yourself feeling numb, tired, or unmotivated? It could be more than burnout.
Burnout is a term we’ve all heard, especially in the age of constant connectivity and relentless productivity. But what if that overwhelming sense of exhaustion, detachment, and emotional depletion is more than just burnout? What if it’s depression?
While burnout is often linked to work-related stress, depression is a complex mental health condition that can affect every aspect of life. Understanding the difference is crucial, especially since depression is a leading cause of disability worldwide.
What actually is Burnout?
While burnout shares some symptoms with depression, such as fatigue and emotional exhaustion, there are distinct differences:
Emotional Exhaustion
-In burnout, individuals feel drained and unable to meet constant demands.
-In depression, this exhaustion is pervasive and not limited to work-related stress.
Reduced Performance
-Burnout leads to reduced performance and feelings of incompetence.
-Depression can cause a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed, including work, but also affects personal relationships and daily functioning.
Cynicism and Detachment
-Burnout often involves a sense of detachment from responsibilities.
-Depression can lead to feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness, extending beyond work to all areas of life.
Physical Symptoms
-Burnout sometimes comes with headaches and gastrointestinal issues. Some even report increases in illnesses to to a fatigued immune system.
-Depression can manifest with physical symptoms like changes in appetite, sleep disturbances, and fatigue, which are less common in burnout.
Understanding these differences is vital for seeking the correct support and future decisions. This is especially important if we are looking at changes in our lives including employment or other roles that are hled in community organizations.
What does depression feel like?
Depression feels like waking up every day with a mind that wants to disappear and a body that’s forced to show up. Do you ever find yourself feeling like there’s so much youneed to do, but your mind is working against you, and soon your body follows? Now instead of getting things done you end up lying down in sorrow. It feels like it’s you against the world and no one understands so you might as well just lay there, right?
Perhaps you find yourself asking questions like “Why do I feel like this?”, “What’s wrong with me?”, or “Why can’t I shake this feeling?” I’d like to reassure you that depression isn’t something you consciously chose to put yourself through. It’s also not an indication of failure, it’s a real medical condition.
How do I know if I have depression?
According to the DSM-5-TR, a major depressive episode is characterized by a persistently low mood or loss of interest in most activities, lasting at least two weeks. This must be accompanied by at least five of the following symptoms:
- Persistent low or irritable mood
- Loss of interest or enjoyment
- Significant weight change or appetite disturbance
- Sleep disturbances (insomnia or hypersomnia)
- Physical restlessness or slowed movements/speech almost every day (Noticeable by others)
- Fatigue or loss of energy
- Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt
- Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness.
- Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide
Where does Depression come from?
Depression typically results from a combination of biological, psychological, and environmental factors. On a biological level, imbalances in brain chemicals like serotonin and dopamine, hormonal shifts (such as postpartum or thyroid-related changes), and genetics can all contribute. Psychologically, negative thought patterns, low self-esteem, perfectionism, or past trauma increases vulnerability. Environmental factors like chronic stress, grief, financial strain, or social isolation can also play a major role.
Additionally, certain medical conditions, substance use, and even side effects from some medications can trigger or worsen depressive symptoms. Often, it’s a mix of these influences that lead someone to develop depression. Understanding its complexity is key to seeking the right support and recognizing that depression is a legitimate and treatable condition.
This sounds like me, Now What?
Depression is more than just feeling “burnt out.” It’s a multifaceted condition that requires understanding, compassion, and appropriate treatment. If you’re struggling, know that help is available, and recovery is possible. You’re not alone in this journey.
Depression is a treatable condition. Effective treatment often involves a combination of:
- Psychotherapy: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and other therapeutic approaches can help individuals identify and reframe negative thought patterns.
- Medication: Antidepressants, such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), can help balance chemicals in the brain that affect mood.
- Lifestyle Changes: Regular exercise, a balanced diet, adequate sleep, and stress management techniques can support overall mental health.
- Support Systems: Building a network of supportive friends, family, or support groups can provide encouragement and reduce feelings of isolation.
Reaching out to a mental health professional is a powerful first step towards receiving support and treatment that’s right for you!
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Nurturing Individual Needs: A Guide for Couples
Nurturing Mental Health in Relationships: A Guide for Couples
Does it sometimes feel impossible to coexist with the person you love most? Maybe the distance grows when life gets heavy. Or maybe the arguments feel more like battles than disagreements. If this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone and there’s still hope.
Mental health is the invisible anchor at the base of every relationship. When it’s strong, couples feel safe, supported, and seen. When it’s frayed, even small issues can spiral into conflict. Let’s explore why mental health matters in relationships, how therapy can help, and practical ways to strengthen communication and emotional connection.
Mental Health & Relationships: More Connected Than You Think
Our individual mental health impacts everything in a relationship, from how we argue to how we love. According to research, mental health issues such as anxiety or depression can lead to increased conflict, emotional withdrawal, and decreased intimacy. It’s not just about one partner’s emotional experience, it’s about how the couple functions as a unit too.
Partners are emotionally interconnected, and when one is struggling, the other often feels the weight too. I imagine you have felt that same weight too. Studies have shown that couples with greater emotional attunement (the ability to understand and respond to each other’s emotions) have stronger, more satisfying relationships.
So, if you’re thinking, “Why do we keep getting stuck in the same arguments?” or “Why does it feel like we’re drifting?” you or your partner’s mental health may be a major part of the answer.
Healthy Communication – Simple but Effective
Ever feel like you’re talking, but you’re not really being heard? You’re not imagining things. When our emotional needs go unmet, it often shows up in how we connect with others… or how disconnected we feel. That’s where healthy communication comes in. It’s not just about the words we say, but how they’re delivered, received, and felt. Healthy communication plays a vital role in nurturing and sustaining a lasting connection. This is an important part of an individuals emotional health needs. At the base of our emotional health fulfillment is communication.
Here are a few tools recommended for healthy communication:
Active Listening – This means really listening, not planning your next response. Reflect back what your partner says to show you’re engaged. This technique increases emotional safety.
Use “I” Statements – For example: “I feel overwhelmed when we argue late at night,” instead of “You never care about how tired I am.” This lowers defensiveness and increases empathy.
Validate Emotions – You don’t have to agree, but acknowledging how your partner feels (“That sounds really frustrating”) makes them feel heard, not dismissed.
Watch Nonverbal Cues – Eye rolls, crossed arms, or a cold tone can say more than words ever will.
Learning how to argue well is just as important as avoiding fights. One study found that couples who use “repair attempts” (like humor or changing tone) during conflict were significantly more likely to stay together long-term (Gottman & Silver, 2015). Communication builds connection, which consistently builds a healthy emotional state.
Therapy isn’t just for “Broken” Couples
Ever wondered if therapy is worth it; especially if things aren’t that bad? The short answer is yes.
Couples therapy can help both partners feel heard, clarify recurring issues, and build new skills for navigating future challenges. And it works! Emotionally focused therapy (EFT), for example, has a success rate of 70-75% for distressed couples (Spengler et al., 2022). This therapeutic approach will help each of you identify the emotional health needs of each partner. When we work to support and meet the needs of the individual, the couple benefits! Couples therapy addresses the mental health of the individual partners, in addition to the relational dynamic between you both.
Even if one partner is hesitant to go, individual therapy can also improve a relationship. As individuals grow in self-awareness, emotional regulation, and communication skills, those benefits often trickle into their relational habits.
Thriving as Individuals, Together – Your own Mental Health Matters!
Is it selfish to want time for yourself when you’re in a relationship? Absolutely not. In fact, it’s essential.
A healthy relationship includes two healthy individuals. Taking time for self-care, pursuing hobbies, or going to therapy on your own can prevent codependency and burnout (Luscombe, 2018). Relationships are healthiest when you each partner feels a sense of their own identity in all aspects of their life. It is important to give permission and encourage your partner to go out with friends or aspire to personal goals and work towards them. Having that core sense of self will only complement how you grow as a couple.
Growth starts with showing up
If you’re feeling stuck, distant, or exhausted in your relationship it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re human.
Mental health, just like physical health, requires attention and care. And when couples commit to growth, both individually and together, they build a partnership that can weather hard seasons and flourish in good ones.
You don’t have to do it perfectly. You just have to be willing to try and to keep trying. Visit our Clinicians Page and find a therapist that feels right for you to work with to build the life and relationship you deserve.
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Change Your Life with CBT
Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life
How CBT Helps Break Negative Cycles
Have You Ever Felt Stuck Before?
Have you ever found yourself being overly reactive toward your partner or children? Acting in a way that doesn’t reflect who you really are—simply because you’ve got a lot going on?
What if I told you that the cause of these behaviors isn’t primarily your circumstances, but the way you interpret them?
How CBT Shifts the Way You Think, Feel, and Act
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a powerful, practical tool that helps shape the way you think and, in turn, the way you feel and act. When something happens in life, our minds create automatic interpretations of the event. We usually trust those interpretations without question.
You will even recognize this idea from the phrase “trust your gut.” But the truth is, our “gut” reactions—our automatic thoughts—are biased, especially when we’re stressed. They tend to skew negative, and they don’t always reflect reality.
It’s Not Just the Situation—It’s the Interpretation
Let’s look at a common example:
Imagine you’re a construction worker. You’ve had a rough week and you’re feeling stretched thin. It’s finally lunchtime. Your coworkers are sitting on the curb, showing off what their partners packed for lunch. You remember you left yours in the truck and go grab it. As you sit down with your sandwich and chips, everyone suddenly bursts into laughter.
Here’s one possible interpretation:
“Even though nobody was looking at me, I bet they’re laughing at my lunch. They always laugh at me. They probably talk about me behind my back. I can’t stand these guys.”
So, you sit in silence, eat your food quickly, and then head into the house your crew is remodeling. You bitterly listen as the rest of the crew jokes and laughs together. You feel judged, left out, and frustrated.
Now, let’s rewind and imagine a different interpretation:
“Something funny must’ve happened while I was gone. Maybe they’re joking about something I did. I should ask them what’s funny.”
You speak up. They tell you a coworker tripped over the curb while you were gone. Everyone laughs, including you. You enjoy the rest of your break feeling connected and lighter—despite how much is going on in your life.
Building Better Thought Habits with CBT
The difference between a good day and a bad day in this situation came down to one thing: interpretation. A negative thought led to a negative feeling, which led to a negative behavior—and ultimately, a negative outcome.
We all do this. As humans, we have a natural negative thought bias. It shows up in everyday moments—like conversations with your spouse, interactions with your kids, a short comment from your boss, or even a stranger cutting you off in traffic.
Think back: can you remember a time when you misread a situation negatively, and it led to a reaction you later regretted?
More Realistic Thinking, Not Just “Positivity”
One goal of CBT is to help clients become more aware of their automatic thought patterns—and to learn how to create more balanced, realistic interpretations of what’s happening around them.
This doesn’t mean just pretending everything is fine or forcing yourself to think positively. It means using self-awareness to slow down, question your first reaction, and respond in a way that’s more in line with reality—and with who you want to be.
Take the First Step Toward Change
Life is undeniably difficult. It may seem like there is always another difficult circumstance around the corner, but if you’re struggling to manage everything on your plate, or if you’ve noticed yourself stuck in reactive, unhelpful patterns, you don’t have to stay there.
Working with a therapist trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help you break negative cycles and build mental habits that actually support the life you’re trying to lead. You can’t always control your circumstances, but you can take back control of how you respond.
When you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Reach out today to schedule a consultation and begin your journey toward healthier thinking, emotional balance, and a more positive approach to life’s challenges. Reach out to us to book your intake session.
It’s time to break the cycle—let’s get started.
About the Author
Hunter Thomas, LCMHCA, is a licensed therapist with experience working with children, adolescents, and adults in various settings, including school environments, inpatient psychiatric care, and now outpatient therapy. Hunter specializes in helping individuals break free from negative thought patterns and develop healthier ways of thinking and coping. His compassionate and client-centered approach empowers people to take control of their lives, manage their emotions, and build more fulfilling relationships.