Holidays & Loss – How to Manage Grief During the Holidays 

by adminDecember 15, 2021 Depression, Seasonal, Trauma0 comments

The holiday season is generally regarded as a time of joy to be shared with family and friends. However, for those who are grieving lost loved ones, this is often not the case. The holidays can actually magnify our sense of loss. Seasonal events and traditions that are supposed to be festive and fun may serve as painful reminders of our loved ones’ absence. Whether this is your first or tenth holiday without a loved one, you may find yourself experiencing heightened feelings of grief that seem overwhelming. We want you to balance your grief with still finding joy in the holidays. So how can you manage these feelings and survive the holiday season? Here are some tips: 

  1. Avoid engaging in grief comparison- Grief is a universal response to loss, but the actual experience of grief is unique to each individual. Everyone processes and copes with grief differently, so your grief may look different from another friend or family member’s grief in response to the same loss. Know that there is no right way to grieve. 
  2. Create new holiday traditions- Don’t be afraid to do something different because this year is different. Get creative and do something out of the ordinary or alter your previous traditions to better fit with this change in your life. For example, if you don’t feel like you have the energy to cook your usual meal at home, then go out to dinner! 
  3. Find ways to honor your loved one- Acknowledge the absence of your loved one and participate in a holiday ritual to remember them. Here are some ideas to consider: 

-Light a candle for the dinner table or leave an empty chair

-Eat your loved one’s favorite food

-Share your favorite memories of your loved one

-Say a few words of remembrance for your loved one 

4. Give yourself permission to grieve- There are so many different feelings that can come with grief. You may experience sadness, anger, guilt, and joy all at once this season. All of these are valid. Accept these emotions without judgement. Allow yourself to feel them.

5. Set boundaries- Do whatever feels right for you during this time. You don’t have to go to every holiday event. Do things because you want to do them, not because someone else would want you to. If you need to be alone, honor that. If you need to be around others, seek them out. Make time to care for your own needs. Get enough rest and exercise.

6. Plan ahead- Many find that the anticipation of the holidays without a loved one is worse than the holidays themselves. Planning ahead can ease your anxiety about what the holidays will be like. Be sure to plan some comforting activities to look forward to. Come up with an escape plan so that you can easily leave an event or activity if you’re feeling overwhelmed.

7. Volunteer/Give- Spending time helping others this holiday season may bring some comfort in the midst of your grief. Donate to those in need in your loved one’s honor or volunteer with an organization. 

8. Reach out for help- Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you’re struggling during the holidays. Talk about your feelings with loved ones and be honest about how you’d like to do things this year. Consider seeing a mental health professional or joining a grief support group. Here are a few resources: 

-KinderMourn – Sliding scale services for bereaved parents, children, and teens

https://www.kindermourn.org/ 

-GriefShare – Local grief support groups

https://www.griefshare.org/findagroup 

-Novant Health Hospice & Supportive Care – Free counseling and bereavement support groups for anyone grieving the death of a loved one (Huntersville, Charlotte, Matthews)- (704) 384-6478

-Hospice & Palliative Care Charlotte Region – Sliding scale support groups in Huntersville, Lincolnton, Davidson, Charlotte, & Pineville

https://www.hpccr.org/grief-counseling 

If you are grieving the loss of a loved one this holiday season, know that you are not alone. We understand that this can be a difficult time and are here to support you. Reach out to us! 

Source(s): health.harvard.edu, psychologytoday.com, mayoclinichealthsystem.org, aarp.org 

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Managing addiction issues in the holidays

by adminNovember 18, 2020 Addiction/Substance Use, Seasonal0 comments

Managing addiction issues in the holidays

The holidays are right around the corner. This is an exciting time of the year for many, but for those who struggle with substance use, the holidays can be challenging, stressful, and exhausting. The business of the holiday season, along with emotional stress that can come from family conflict, trauma, financial strain, or loneliness can lead those in recovery to resort back to poor coping strategies, making them more vulnerable to relapse.

“For people struggling with addiction, the holidays are fraught with triggers and other aspects that can make maintaining sobriety difficult.  Developing a strong sobriety plan to manage triggers goes a long way in helping a person be successful during this time. Isolation from family and others greatly contributes to people feeling depressed and looking for ways to cope.  Finding support groups, such as AA, Celebrate Recovery, and Smart Recovery, to connect with during the holiday time can be a big support. Identifying warning signs of lapse, and making a plan for how to manage high risk situations ahead of time can also greatly increase a person’s chances for success.” –Adam Kurtz, LCAS, LCMHC

We have put together some tips and strategies to help you safeguard your sobriety during the holidays:

Be Selective About the Invitations You Accept & Avoid Risky Situations

  • Don’t feel obligated to accept every invitation you receive.
  • Ask yourself: What is this event really about? Is this event appropriate for my stage of recovery? What are my motives for attending this event?
  • Say yes to celebrating with people or in ways that are supportive of your recovery. This will give you peace of mind.

Limit Triggers

  • Identify your triggers- Are they stress, specific environments, or certain people?
  • Be aware of your own warning signs related to triggers, such as thinking patterns or unhealthy situations
  • Take care of your basic needs (food, sleep, mood) to help you manage your triggers better

Have a Plan in Place

  • Practice responses to triggering questions or stories from the past through role-play with a supportive friend or counselor
  • Practice turning down substances or avoiding certain behaviors
  • Consider bringing an accountability person to events with you
  • It may be beneficial to arrive early and leave early to avoid potentially risky situations
  • Bring your own safe food/beverages in order to have control over what you consume
  • Have an escape plan. Make sure you would be able to leave at any time, if needed. Have your own transportation or means of escape.

Establish a Support System

  • Reach out to sober friends or people who are understanding of your experience. Schedule an appointment with a therapist in advance to help make your holiday plan.
  • Attend additional meetings with a counselor or support group during the holiday season.

Practice Mindfulness

  • Be mindful about your attitudes and feelings about the holidays and adjust them when necessary. This may involve talking to a counselor or friend who understands addiction recovery. Be open, accepting, and positive at gatherings, instead of on-edge and defensive.
  • Be mindful about what you’re consuming- keep a drink in hand that you have selected

Practice Self-Care

  • Engage in stress-reducing activities during the holiday season. This may include, walking, hiking, biking, yoga, deep breathing exercises, meditation, or gentle exercise.
  • Be sure to get enough rest and proper nutrition during the holidays

Try New Activities or Spend Time Serving Others

  • This can help you avoid triggers and give you some good alternatives to former habits during the holidays.
  • New activities may include cooking meals or baking with friends, watching holiday movies, experiencing nature, etc.
  • Serve a meal at a homeless shelter or volunteer at non-profit organization.

Seek Additional Treatment if Needed

  • There is no shame in going to rehab during the holidays if it protects you from harmful situations.

Remember that recovery is a one-day-at-a-time endeavor, regardless of the season you are in!

If you need additional help during the holidays, the Substance abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s National Helpline is 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

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