Supporting Children After Witnessing a Public Shooting

A Trauma-Informed Guide for Parents

When a family experiences a terrifying event like a public shooting, even if everyone makes it out physically unharmed, the emotional impact can be profound. Children may struggle to make sense of what they saw and heard, and parents are often left wondering how to help their children feel safe again. The good news is that there are clear, trauma–informed strategies that can guide families through the weeks that follow. Children are resilient, especially when their caregivers know how to support them through fear, confusion, and lingering anxiety.

First, Reestablish Safety

One of the most important things caregivers can do in the immediate aftermath is to re–establish a sense of safety and predictability. After a frightening event, a child’s nervous system can remain stuck in “alert mode,” scanning the environment for danger. Parents can help by offering direct reassurance such as, “We’re home, we’re safe, and the danger is over.” Keeping routines stable—bedtime, meals, school—also helps the body and brain settle. Limiting exposure to news footage, online videos, or an abundance of adult conversations about the incident prevents the child from reliving the trauma indirectly.

As children begin processing the event, they may or may not want to talk about what happened. Parents should allow conversations to unfold naturally rather than pushing for details. When children do speak, caregivers can validate their feelings with simple, calm statements like, “That was scary,” or “It makes sense you feel nervous.” Explanations should be brief, honest, and age-appropriate. Avoid minimizing the experience or offering analytical, probability-based reassurance—children need emotional safety dmore than statistics.

Many parents are surprised by the responses that follow trauma, but most reactions are temporary and normal. Nightmares, difficulty sleeping, clinginess, irritability, and repetitive questions are common as the brain tries to integrate a frightening experience. Children often want to revisit the event repeatedly as a way to understand it. Parents can gently reassure children that these reactions are typical and tend to improve with time. The goal is to normalize without heightening fear—“Your brain is trying to make sense of what happened. These reactions usually get better over time.”

Connection is Key

Connection plays a powerful role in helping children recover. Following a traumatic event, many kids benefit from being physically close to their parents—extra cuddles, staying in the same room at night, or sitting near the caregiver during playtime. This closeness supports co-regulation, where the adult’s calm presence helps soothethe child’s nervous system. Slow breathing together, using sensory grounding objects, and speaking in a steady, gentle tone are small actions that can have a big impact. Children take emotional cues from the adults around them; a regulated parent helps create a regulated child.

In addition to emotional connection, children need a simple, coherent narrative about what happened. A clear story anchors their understanding and reduces confusion. Parents might say, “We heard loud noises that were dangerous. We ran to get safe. The police took care of the situation, and now we’re home and safe.” It can also be empowering to highlight the protective steps everyone took—running away, following directions, staying together, or calling for help. This reinforces a sense of competence and self-trust instead of helplessness.

Practical Steps that Work

Coping tools are another valuable piece of recovery. Children respond well to grounding and sensory activities that settle the body. Naming five things they see, four they can touch, three they can hear, two they can smell, and one they can taste is a highly effective grounding exercise. Deep belly breathing, guided imagery, drawing, or expressive play are all healthy ways for kids to work through feelings that may be difficult to verbalize.

Because nightmares are common in the weeks following trauma, maintaining a predictable and soothing nighttime routine can be helpful. Children may be more likely to share their worries at bedtime. A dim nightlight, a comfort item, or a guided meditation that invites children to imagine “hanging their worries on the worry tree” before bed can help ease the transition to sleep. Some children may need a parent to stay close by until their sense of nighttime safety returns.

As families begin re-engaging with normal life, it’s essential not to force children back into crowded or chaotic environments too quickly. Healing takes time, and each child’s pace may be different. Exposure to triggering environments should be gradual and child-led. Pressuring them to “get over it” can increase fear rather than reduce it.

Recognizing When Help is Needed

While many reactions resolve on their own, parents should remain attentive to signs that additional support may be needed. Seek professional help if you observe:

Persistent nightmares beyond several weeks
Growing anxiety or panic symptoms
Avoidance of school, public areas, or age-appropriate separation
Significant sleep disruptions or regression
Aggression, irritability, or emotional withdrawal
Hypervigilance, such as constant scanning of the environment

These signs may indicate that acute stress is shifting toward PTSD and warrant support from a trauma-trained clinician.

If you observe the symptoms above, professional resources can make a tremendous difference. Therapists trained in TF-CBT, EMDR for children, or play therapy use structured approaches specifically designed to help young people recover from trauma, and Miracles Counseling is proud to offer all of the above. Early intervention can prevent long-term symptoms and support a healthier emotional trajectory.

You too, Deserve Support

Last, but certainly not least, it’s probably the most important thing for parents to care for themselves. Your emotional stability directly influences your child’s recovery.Acknowledge your own fear or distress, seek support from friends or professionals, and allow yourself to process the experience without burdening your child with adult-level worries. Children don’t need perfect parents, but they do need steady ones. When caregivers model healthy coping behaviors, they create the safest possible environment for healing.

Connect with a Therapist

Recovering from a traumatic event takes time, but children can and do heal remarkably well when surrounded by calm, supportive, and emotionally attuned caregivers. With patience, connection, and the right tools, families can move forward together with strength and resilience.

Marisa Grimmius, LCMHCA is a trauma informed clinician, trained in EMDR. She is passionate about providing clinical care to our community, especially those who have struggled with distressing experiences. Marisa provides clinical support to adolescents 12 years and up, and adults who have life experiences that have affected them, consequently creating the subsequent symptoms of anxiety, OCD, depression, and interpersonal difficulties. She is highly knowledgeable regarding neurodivergency and autism diagnoses as well. Marisa works out of our Mooresville, NC office and is available for in person as well as telehealth therapy sessions.