When “I’m Fine” Is a Habit: How Emotional Suppression Impacts Mood Over Time

“I’m fine” is a phrase we all have used at least once or twice….maybe hundreds of times. Sometimes this is true. We can manage the situation, handle it and keep moving forward. Other times, this phrase is a way to emotionally suppress the mood we are in. Some emotions are just too hard to face at the moment. It can also feel as if it is a form of weakness if we acknowledge a negative emotion we are experiencing. Ignoring or shutting down our emotions is a learned survival skill that works, but can be overused. Those emotions we suppress don’t simply disappear – they can show up as mood shifts, irritability, or numbness and exhaustion. 

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What Emotional Suppression Really Is (And What It Isn’t)

Emotional Suppression vs Emotional Regulation

Emotional Suppression is the act of pushing down our emotions in order to keep functioning. The idea here is by focusing efforts you need to take to succeed or accomplish the task at hand, the better off you are. There is an idea that if you were to feel what you are going through, those feelings get in the way. Ultimately inhibiting the task at hand. This is a primary belief that leads to emotional suppression in adults.

Emotional Regulation is the act of noticing, tolerating, and processing your emotions as you experience them. The idea here is to make space in your mind for the emotions you are experiencing. Unfortunately, most adults are not taught how to use regulation skills or even have an idea that there are skills to manage emotions.

Why Emotional Suppression Feels Like Strength (At First)

The Short-Term Benefits That Become Long-Term Problems

Common reasons people believe that suppressing their emotions is needed often comes out of a sense of self preservation. It could be the need to stay productive in their job or lives. Another reason is to maintain an identity of being the “strong one” or being the “easy going” personality. Suppressing your emotions can also seen as needed so as to get through a crisis situation.  Momentary use of stuffing emotions can be useful, but when it comes a lifestyle approach it can become harmful.

How Suppressed Emotions Affect Mood Over Time

The Emotional Cost of Always Being ‘Okay’

When emotional suppression is used chronically it can lead to unintended, negative consequences. A few of these include feeling emotionally numb, difficulty with mood swings or irritability and anger outbursts, and a general sense of disconnection from self or others. This is what us in the therapy world would call ‘mood disturbances’ and are often occurring repeatedly over the course of time. 

The Link Between Suppression and Mood Disorders

Feeling “fine” can also lead to a belief that “nothing is wrong with me,” even when things internally feel unstable. Eventually, suppressing emotions can lead towards more persistent mood disorders such as depression, anxiety, or Bipolar Disorders. The mind can only suppressive emotions for so long until the accumulation leads to something bigger. For those who are high functioning adults, a diagnosis of depression or anxiety can be missed due to overperforming and external self management of your emotions. 

Why Talking Yourself Out of Feelings Doesn’t Work

Why Logic Alone Can’t Fix Emotional Patterns

The experiences we have and the emotions they invoke do not pass through us and fade away once we move on. Feelings live in the nervous system, and create neuorpathways in our brain. This wiring slowly adjusts how we respond to our environment. From our personal relationships, to the workplace impacts will be noticed in how you respond to others or manage workload requirements. The suppression you use will eventually create an emotional pressure that has to release, in one way or another. Eventually, neurological system finds a release. 

How Therapy Helps You Feel Without Falling Apart

Therapy as Emotional Relearning, Not Emotional Dumping

Participating in therapy is a learning process more so than just a conversation with a supportive person. You will learn how to be emotionally aware of your experiences, and reconnect to your authentic identity. Goals may include how to stabilize your moods, learn how to recognize emotions, and/or also build a plan for emotional tolerance of those experiences you have been avoiding. Focus on:

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At Miracles Counseling Centers, our therapists support adults in Concord, Mooresville, and Denver, NC who are ready to move beyond emotional survival and into emotional stability.

 

Connect with a Therapist

 

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When to Consider Reaching Out

Signs It Might Be Time to Talk to Someone

If you are in a place where you don’t know what’s wrong and just don’t feel like yourself, it may be time to connect with a therapist. Read the list below – if any of this sounds like you, then it’s time to speak with someone.

• “I feel flat, but not sad” 
• “I’m functioning, but disconnected” 
• “My mood feels unpredictable” 
• “I’ve been strong for a long time” 

Our hope in reading this is that it can be a lesson if not needed now, but possibly in the future. Our lives take many twists and turns, and this information can be insight and understanding needed for a future road you will take. Therapy can be a process of relief and support needed when suppression has taken over. Remember, that a crisis event or emotional spiraling does not need to happen before you receive the support from an objective professional. When you are ready, we are here to help provide therapy for mood regulation support in Concord, Mooresville, or Denver, NC.